Life Goes On
by Peaceouttalove
Summary: Continuation to Baby Mine and Not Another One and next book in Married Life Series.
1. Chapter 1

**You should at least read Baby Mine and Not Another One before this. Thanks. I own nothing and please R&R for a free internet hug. **

Chapter 1

"You liked Stan!" Eric cried. Oh, right, he must've read _those _entries. I tried to hold back the blush, "It was just a small crush!" I said defensively and tried to grab the journal out of his hands.

"Small crush? That's bull crap!" Eric flipped to a random page and read in a mockingly girly tone, "'Oh Stan, your eyes are bluer than the sky. Why don't they ever glance over me with the same feelings I have for you?'"

"All right, it might've been more than a little crush. I liked him a lot." I admitted, "But I never _loved _him, and he would never want me anyway."

"And let's say, he did want you?" Eric said. "Huh?" "If Stan was gay for you, you would end up with him." He clarified. "Yeah, I guess I would." I said, "but he's not, so it doesn't matter."

"It does matter! You want Stan to be the one standing here right now, not me." Eric shouted. "Who said I'd rather have Stan than you? You see, this is why I didn't want you reading that damn thing." I said.

"Now I know why. You didn't want me to know you were having an affair with your supper butt buddy!" Eric said.

"AFFAIR?! Dude, no! That's not cool. Why would I ever have an affair with anyone let alone Stan." I cried.

Eric sighed, "I don't know, Ky. This journal seems to speak for itself." Behind the anger I could see complete sadness in his eyes.

"Did you ever get _past _the entries about Stan?" I asked. Eric perked up, "There's entries that aren't about Stan?"

I rolled my eyes and flipped through a good twenty pages. "Ah, here we go...Nope...that's about Stan...Still Stan...Oh, here he's breaking my heart without even realizing it...I remember that...Yup, right here, no Stan!"

"'First day of high school and Stan isn't here for me'-Kahl, you said this _wasn't _about Stan!" "Just keep reading!" I instructed. "'Luckily I have Kenny and Fat Ass and general school work to keep my mind off of it. Besides, I'm starting to wonder if Stan really is the type for me. They say (in chemistry) that opposites attract. Except for the gay straight and sports and academics thing, Stan and I are pretty similar. Mathematically speaking, Fat Ass is perfect for me."

"Happy now?" I asked. "Not really. You over think everything, don't you?" Eric said, and then in a really geek voice mimicked, "Mathematically speaking."

"I don't sound like that!" I protested. "The point is, you shouldn't be making these kind of decisions with your head." Eric pointed out, "You should be making them with your-"

I cut him off, "Heart, I know. That's why I love you rather than Stan, I _thought _I loved Stan. With you, I didn't even have to think about it..In fact my brain was against the whole idea of us being together."

"I was actually gonna say cock." Eric laughed, "There was nothing in here about you getting hard in here, just crappy imagery, you're such a chick, Kahl." I grinned pervertedly, "Oh, wait until you get to the detailed entries about you. Another reason I'm yours instead of Stan's, I thought about what it would be like if Stan and I did it...He would go so soft on me!"

"You know what, you can keep your stupid journal. It doesn't mean shit. We're together now and I love you, you say you love me, so screw it...Literally." Eric decided as he pushed me onto the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I was off with Frodo battling some orcs when all of a sudden I saw a giant bright light coming from the sky. A meteor? No, the light was coming from a lamp.

I opened my eyes and saw Eric sitting underneath the lamp, my journal spread open on the desk. "I thought you said you were done with this." I moaned.

"I couldn't resist. Sorry I woke you." Eric said. "Whatever. Can you turn the lamp off. You could use a flashlight or something that won't keep me up." I replied. He flipped me off, "Not gonna happen!"

"Well, then I'm gonna go sleep on the couch." I grabbed my pillow and headed out. "Wait, Kahl, is it true?" Eric called after me. "Is what true?" I asked. "What you wrote in the journal." "I wrote a lot of stuff. 'Night."

He pulled me back into the room and showed me the passage he was reading. _'But even if he isn't lying about the way he feels, Eric shouldn't like me back.'_

"Yeah, at the time I did feel like I wasn't your type. Can I go now, I'm really tired." I yawned. Eric released his grip from around my waist, " Yeah of course, go ahead."

After what seemed like only a few minutes into battle, Eric shook me awake. "No, Frodo, go forward without me!" I cried.

"Kahl, snap out of it. It's me." Eric said. I blinked, "Oh sorry. 'Morning, honey. Where's Kylie, she'll be late for school."

"Don't worry. She's sleeping. It's not morning yet...Well, technically it is, 2 AM, actually." Eric stated. "2 AM!" I cried, "Are you crazy! Why would you wake me up at 2 AM?"

"To show you my kick ass plan that will make us rich! And you know your Jewish genes won't be able to resist the money." Eric said excitedly.

"Whatever it is it can wait until morning." I said and lay back down. "You can sleep on the carride to Theo's lab. You don't even have to walk I can carry you." Eric said. "As long as I can sleep, I really don't give a shit what you do to me." I said and closed my eyes.

When I opened them again, I was in my old lab-or should I say Theo's new lab. "Remind me what we're doing in here, again?" I yawned.

"Well, I was reading one of your later entries, you know one of the ones you filled in the other day. And you were talking about how you wanted to borrow Theo's lab to create an anecdote to old age. So, I thought, we could do it now, when Theo's not using the lab." Eric explained.

I laughed, "Believe me, Eric, if I could I would, but it's just not possible. And something tells me immortality might backfire." "Well, why can't we try?" Eric asked.

"Ok, let's get some things straight, by 'we' you mean 'me' and by 'your' kick ass plan, you mean 'my' kick ass plan." I said. Wait what was I saying, was I really going to try this stupid idea?

"There is no 'i' in kick ass plan, Kahl, now get to work." Eric said. "Actually, there is an 'i' in kick, and it's-" Oh God, I couldn't say no to his pleading face. "Oh, what the hell, I'll give it a try."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I-I think I've done it!" I cried holding up the syringe. "Dafaq, how is this possible?" Theo said as he flipped through my blueprints (he had joined us a couple hours ago and agreed to help despite the impossible project).

"I don't know. It could be toxic...Have any lab rats you wanna test it on?" I said. "There's a pet store nearby. So, if this thing really works right, it will make a person look half their age, and not age until that amount of time passes again, at which point they inject themselves again." Theo clarified.

Eric sat up, "Huh?" "'Bout time you got up, sleepy head. We did it!...Well, technically Theo and I did it, you just slept." I said. "Really? I thought I dreamt that whole thing up." Eric yawned.

He grabbed the syringe. "Let's see if this thing actually works." "NO!" Theo and I shrieked as Eric injected himself.

"Take it out, quick!" I cried trying to fight back tears. "Calm, down, it's not like this thing is poisonous...It's not, right?" Eric said.

"Well..." Theo said awkwardly. "Shit!" Eric cried and pulled the syringe out. "Am I gonna di-" He suddenly screamed out in pain as his face changed...it became younger.

"Dude!" I shouted and practically jumped for joy, "It works!" "It's a miracle!" Theo cried.

"What the hell just happened?" Eric asked. "You're twenty-three again and hotter than the sun!" I announced, "Of course, you're still prone to every disease old age brings on, plus death, but you won't have to deal with the wrinkles and the gray hairs, and you'll have to take another shot in another twenty-three years."

"Here goes nothing!" I said and injected myself. Then I realized that I wouldn't be able to get money off for being a senior. Oh well, small price to pay...Literally.


	4. Chapter 4

**Shout-out to Allyaneedislove and kymangirl for their reviews! I love getting reviews they make my day. So, please just tell me what you think. **

**Just to clear things up. The shot makes you look half your age and then when that amount of time passes, you'll look like you did the age you took it, and take it again to become half your age again. I know it's really confusing. I'm sorry about that. **

**Anyway, here's chapter 4!**

Chapter 4

As much as we wanted the money, we decided to keep the shot a secret between our good friends and family. All that attention would be annoying, and the more people take it, the more likely it will be that someone might purposely take advantage of it and sue us for all that we've got. And what if a psychopath gave it to their pet or baby in order to kill them. I wouldn't want to be responsible for that. The guilt would be too much to bare.

"How would that work, anyway, if you gave this thing to a baby? Half their age wouldn't exist...would they turn into an embryo or something?" Eric asked. "I don't know, and I don't want to find out." I said.

"You know what would be cool, if you built a time machine, and then someone used that to go back in time when you were a baby and used the shot to kill you, using both of your inventions against you." Eric said.

"No! That would not be cool!" I shouted, "And I would just go back in time and stop myself from building the time machine...Wait, seeing yourself in the past would screw up the time space continuum...So, I'd just go back in time and stop you from convincing me to make the shot."

"I have an idea, why don't you just _don't _build the time machine to begin with!" Kylie called. "That could work, too." I said.

"So, you wanna go see how Theo and Melanie are doing?" Eric asked. "Well, let's see, the last two times we went to see them without calling first, we walked in at the awkwardest moments ever...Sure, what the hell. Let's go." I said.

"Yay!" Kylie squealed, "Now we get to see how Pony is doing!" "Pony?" We echoed. "Yeah, that's what I named their kitten because I want a pony, but you gave them a kitten." "That makes no sense." Eric said. "And no, we're not getting a pony so that it makes sense." I added.

Luckily this time, we didn't arrive at an awkward time. Theo and Melanie had just finished giving their kitten (and his name was Sloppy Kisses, not Pony) a bath in the kitchen sink.

"Huh, I thought cats gave themselves baths." I said. "They do. We're just practicing for when we have to give the baby a bath." Theo said.

"Ermygod you should name your baby Pony, it's a good name for a boy or a girl or a cat!" Kylie shouted. Melanie chuckled, "We were thinking Jane for and Peter for a boy."

"Dafq! You might as well name them Pony and Horse." Eric said. "Those were my parents' names." Melanie added quickly. "Oh." He replied awkwardly.

"Well, I think you're parents would be happy." I said. "Thanks. I think they'd be happy, too." She said.


	5. Chapter 5

**I recently got a daviantART and check out this pics I drew of Kylie, Theo, Rover, and Melanie!**

**art/Kylie-holding-Sloppy-Kisses-372834137?ga_submi t_new=10%253A1369089481 **

** art/Theo-372835082?ga_submit_new=10%253A1369089727**

** art/Rover-372835344?ga_submit_new=10%253A1369089797**

** art/Melanie-372835617?ga_submit_new=10%253A1369089886**

**Sorry this chapter is so short. **

Chapter 5

"I really don't know what to tell you. Wendy is so much hotter now! Sex is actually pleasurable. I owe you big time dude!" Stan babbled. "Glad I could help, dude. Hang on, I'm getting another call."

I hit the receiver button, "Hello." "Kyle, you have made my life AMAZING! Like ohmygod! I feel so good inside and out. Can I kiss you right now?" Kenny shouted. "Are you high?" I asked. "Just a little pot. It's good for you." With that I hung up on my friend.

Just then Eric came in, "I'm home and I have a surprise for you." "A surprise?" I echoed with a kiss on his cheek.

"You guys can come in now!" Eric called. Melanie and Theo followed in. "We have good news." Melanie said excitedly. "Wait, I thought I was gonna tell him." Theo said. "We'll do it together." Melanie said, "1,2,3." "We're having twins!" They shouted together.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"You know it's a beautiful day out. Not too cold, but just cold enough. You wanna go to out to the pond and go skating?" Melanie offered.

"I don't know, if you slip and fall on your stomach, those twins are pretty much screwed." I said. The truth was that I was more worried about slipping and falling myself, but I wouldn't admit to it (especially in front of Eric).

Melanie laughed, "Don't worry about me. When I was a little girl I was training to be a professional skater, Olympics and everything. but a bad leg injury held me back a good five years...and then there was the whole fire thing that forced me to move here."

"But you lived in Florida. How is that possible?" Eric said. "Haven't you ever heard of an indoor skating rink?" Melanie said.

They had those? Since when? Well, I guess having been living here my whole life I would never know.

"Come on, let's go!" Kylie said. While we were chatting she had already grabbed her skates.

* * *

'_I did this all the time when I was a kid. What makes it so different now?...In fact now that I look younger wouldn't it be easier, right?' _I thought to myself as we approached Stark's Pond.

"You coming, Kahl?" Eric called. "In a minute!" I shouted back and double checked that my skates were tight enough.

With a deep breath I stepped onto the ice. "Hey." I said, "I didn't fall." "That's because you're just standing there. You have to move." Eric said.

"Fine." I said. And just as I expected, the moment I skated forward, I fell flat on my ass. Eric burst out laughing. I then picked myself up, only to fall again, which didn't help.

Melanie skated towards me, "Here, I'll help you." She extended her gloved hands to mine, and helped me steady myself.

"You know you have really pretty eyes." Melanie said. "WHAT?" All four of us cried at the same time. Eric looked like he wanted to bear the shit out of her and Theo looked horrified.

"I may not look it, but I am way too old for you!" I shouted. She laughed, "I was only joking, get it 'cause you have Theo's eyes." She chuckled, winked at me and skated back to Theo, leaving me to fall again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all of your support. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Kylie's 9 by the way and the grandparents were 75, but now 38 since they took the shot in case you're wondering about age and stuff.**

Chapter 7

(Kylie's POV)

"Have you ever made gingerbread cookies before?" Grandma Liane asked me.

With her new found age (38), she now started feeling a lot younger as well. Now Grandma decided that she was physically able to start having her annual Christmas parties once again.

With much arguement (Dad helped), we finally convinced Mom to let me help her prepare for the party. Convincing Grandma Sheila and Grandpa Gerald to come to the party was a whole different ball park.

I shook my head, "It's because I'm Jewish and inherited my mom's awful cooking skills." Grandma laughed, "Spend an hour here and you'll be baptized and cooking like a pro." "But Mom'll kill you if I get baptized and Grandma Sheila would eat tour dead body like a buzzard." I pointed out.

She shook her head, "I was only joking, sweetie. Now let's get working on those cookies." "Ooh, can we give them gumdrop buttons like the one in Shrek!" I said excitedly. "Of course, and we can make little cookie houses for them as well." Grandma said.

"Do you think it'll come to life like in the story?" I asked. "Anything's possible...You have Kyle to thank for that. I know it's only supposed to affect looks, but I feel younger on the inside, I have so much more energy, and the doctor even said he saw massive changes in my x-rays and the now completely match the ones I took when I really was this age...Oh look at me babbling away."

"Now the first step before anything is to get those red curls out of the way, so we don't get ginger_hair _cookie." Grandma explained. "Do you have a hair tie?" I asked. "No, but I have the next best thing. I'll be right back."

She came back with a blue and yellow puffball hat. "This used to be Eric's but I think you can borrow it for a while."

Grandma took out the ingredients, and began to explain the process. My mind was elsewhere so I just nodded when she asked if I understood.

"All right, now put a tablespoon of vanilla into the batter." She instructed. "Uh..." There were several spoons on the table, so I grabbed the one closest to me, poured some vanilla on it, and threw it into the batter.

"Oh no!" Grandma cried, "I told you, that little one over there was the table spoon. That's way too much." She sighed, "I guess we'll have to start over."

Ooops. "I'm sorry." "Oh, it's quite all right. I don't mind. Just try to be a little more careful next time." Grandma assured me.

This was going to take longer than I thought.

* * *

(Kyle's POV)

I had to admit, I might've overreacted about not letting Kylie help out with the party. Maybe it was just my upbringing. Mom would never let me...Well, I could pretty much put anything there.

It often made me wonder whether it was her constricting me that led me to rebelling and dating the bad boy in town. If it was, then I owed my mom a big ol' thank you.

"Is that normal?" Speaking of the bad boy, Eric called me out of my little thought bubble. "Is what normal?" I asked.

"Mom feeling younger and her x-ray matching the ones she had when she was that age." He clarified.

"It's not what Theo and me planned, but don't you feel younger, too? I know I do. Everyone I've talked to have felt this way, and a few of them who have had X-rays said the same thing. So I guess it is normal." I said.

Eric nodded, "Just making sure. And we're still not going public?" "No. Plus, with these new discoveries this may actually be immortality, and if anyone can get their hands on that...Well, I don't want to be there to find out." I stated.

"Are you sure everything's all right? I don't want anyone dying over this." Eric said. I laughed. "How the hell can you laugh, I'm being dead seriously!"

It was kind of cute how concerned Eric was over the shot. Normally he couldn't care less about my and or Theo's scientific discoveries, but now he was all over this.

"Don't worry. Everything's gonna be OK. Thank you for caring so much I really do appreciate it." I hugged him, "Now let's go have a kick ass Christmas...I mean merry...Sorry, didn't mean to be disrespectful towards Jesus or anything."

"Kahl, you're Jewish, so it doesn't matter. And even if it did, I wouldn't give a shit. I love you, OK, now come here."

"Hey, save it for the mistletoe!" Kenny called as he walked in on us smooching. Eric flipped him off as he continued to caress my tongue with his.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"No that's wrong." I stated for what seemed like the one hundredth time. Kylie wrinkled her nose (on odd tick she did whenever she was thinking really hard). Finally she stopped and sighed, "Then what is it?"

"8." I said, "56/7 is 8. We'll go back to that one later, I guess." I flipped to the next flashcard. "Alright, what's 36/6?"

"I don't know! Let's give this up. I'm not gonna learn it." Kylie said. "Sure you are. You just have to keep working at it." I assured her.

"We've been working at it all day!" She cried, "It's not like you see Theo going over all the stuff he knows 24/7."

"And have you ever heard Theo's singing voice?" I laughed, "If he were to audition for any of the plays you've leaded in, he wouldn't even make call backs let alone get the lead."

"Yeah, but he's smart and that makes up for it." Kylie said. "You don't have to be a genius to be smart. It's like what Edison said, 'It's 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.'" I said.

"What does that mean?" Kylie asked. "It means you have to work hard. Now try to think. What's 36/6?"

She wrinkled her nose again, "It's..it's...Oh what's the point! I'm a stupid head always have been always will be!" She ran into her room, crying.

Unfortunately she had locked it as well. "Baby, please, I just want to help!" "Then why don't you just leave me alone and go do something scientific with Theo!" Kylie shouted back. "Don't use that tone on me!" I shouted.

Suddenly the door opened. Oh good, Eric was home. "Hey, honey, how was work?" I called. "Piss of, Kahl. I don't wanna talk about it." He came in with his head hung low.

"Goddamn it. Is everyone on their period today? First Kylie, now you." I sighed, "I'm tired, I'm going to bed, you can have dinner without me."

I collapsed onto my bed, only to find that I truly was exhausted and soon fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

I was suddenly shaken awake, "Kahl, wake up, I need you, it's a fucking emergency!" Eric shouted in my ear.

I moaned, "Is the house on fire?" "No, worse." he cried. I yawned, "As long as nobody's dead or hurt. I'm going back to bed." "Don't make me use ice cold water." Eric threatened.

I sat up, "I'm up. What's your emergency?" "Kylie got her period." Eric said. "Jesus Christ!" I cried, "She's nine years old! Don't you get it at twelve or something?"

"I thought so, too. What do we do?" Eric said. "Well, go tell her to block it with toilet paper for now, while we find a store that's open at this hour and sells tampons." I said.

* * *

So, the next thing I know, Eric and I are running down the aisles of Walmart, too embarrassed to ask anyone where the feminine products were.

"Ah, here we go." I said, finally finding the aisle. Eric skimmed the products, "Damn, there's so much shit a girl can shove up her vagina that aren't sexual."

I rolled my eyes, "All right, should we get her tampons or pads?" "How the hell should I know?" He shouted. "Well, what does your mom use?" I asked. "Again, how the hell should I know? What does your mom use?" Eric shouted. "Dude, even if I _wanted _to know do you think she would tell me?" I cried.

"Well, then we'll just have to get her both." Eric said grabbing both boxes. I nodded and followed him to the checkout line.

The cashier gave us a funny look, but then she smiled and said, "I had a sex change, too. Only I'm waiting for my period to come on, not stop." "Um...That's great." I said, grabbed the boxes and ran out.

"Glad that's over with." Eric said, "I feel like puking." "Tell me about it...I hate women." I said.

* * *

Kylie actually took it better than us. She thanked us, and apologized for the way she behaved earlier. "It's alright, sweetie. I'll get you a glass of milk." I said.

"She's the exception to my women hating." I mumbled as I hopped back into bed. It was midnight.

Eric lied next to me. "I guess I owe you an apology, too. For how I acted when I got home from work. Sorry...I just had a really rough day."

"What?" I whispered and turned to find him asleep next to me. I was now three AM and I realized that I dreamt his apology.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Two months?" I cried, "You're getting married in two months!" "Well, we wanted to have the wedding before the babies so they wouldn't be bastards." Melanie explained. "Yeah, but you just turned eighteen and..." I sighed, "There's no stopping you, I guess."

"KYLIE, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!" Eric shouted. "Dude, what was that for?" I asked. Before he could answer, Kylie came running, "What's up?"

"You're gonna be a flower girl, that's what." Theo said. "I am? YAAAY! I wanna ride in on a horse with lots of flowers in her mane." she yelped.

I grinned. She was still nine years old, still my baby girl on the inside. Then I turned back to Eric, "Never yell at her like that again." He chuckled, "I was just messing around. Right, Ky?" "Of course." Kylie replied and slapped him five.

"Anyway, you don't have to worry about a thing financially, I got it covered thanks to my bar mitzvah money, birthday money, college money, lab money, and just general saving for a rainy day money." Theo said.

Melanie suddenly clutched her stomach, "They're kicking." "Better start planning the honeymoon, then." Eric said, "'Cause when the kids come on, you won't have anytime for romance."

Theo frowned, "What is that supposed to mean?" "It means that you'll be spending more family time and less alone time. It's not necessarily a bad thing." I explained.

"Whatever." Theo said, "So, where do you wanna go to for our honeymoon?" "Well, somewhere tropical...but I'll miss the mountains too much...so somewhere tropical, but with mountains." Melanie said.

"Hmmm...how 'bout somewhere near the Andes. I've always wanted to see Lake Titicaca." Theo suggested.

Eric snickered, "That's hilarious!" "It's a real place." I said. "No, it's not." He laughed.

"I'd love to go there!" Melanie said. "Well, it's settled then, that's wheree we're honeymooning." Theo said.

"Now back to planning for the wedding. Can my horse be named Kitten?" Kylie said.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Did you really mean that, honey?" I asked Eric later that night. "Mean what?" He asked. "That we don't get any alone time because of the kids." I clarified.

"I was just giving Melanie and Theo a heads up. I wasn't prepared for it." Eric said. "Well, we have now to be alone." I said.

Suddenly his phone rang, "Sorry, Kahl, I have to get this." I groaned as Eric stepped out of the room.

(Eric's POV)

"Bank robbery?" I cried, "Who the hell robs a bank at this hour! Is the bank even open?" "Yes it is now get your fat ass over there!" Dexter shouted. "Fine." I groaned.

I scribbled a quick note to Kyle and Kylie in case they were worried as to where I disappeared to and headed out.

Sure enough, it was your typical bank robbery, some masked dude with a gun and big sack full of money.

"Drop it and put your hands in the air!" I shouted, taking my gun out. "Make me!" He hissed. "I'm gonna count to three and you'd better have your hands in the air." I growled.

Then the door of the bank opened, "Thank goodness you're still open, I forgot I had to make a deposit for-" Mrs. Brovfloski screamed when she saw the robber.

He turned his gun to her. "No!" I cried, and jumped in front of Mrs. Brovfloski, pushing her down, as I felt the bullet hit my chest.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a patch of bright red hair. "Kahl?" I moaned.

"No, Eric, it's me." Mrs. Brovfloski turned to face me, "You saved me. I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am for it." "It was just my job." I said, "Did he get away? Where am I?"

"Asshole's behind bars where he belongs, and you're in the hospital because those bullet proof vests are only as good as our budget." Junior explained, "Come on, ma'am, we need you to testify down at the station."

Mrs. Brovfloski turned back to me as she left and smiled, "You'll be OK, I'm sure Kyle will be-"

"Mom! Eric!" As if on cue, Kyle came running in. "What the hell happened? I was so scared!"

"I'm fine, don't worry about it." I said. "Oh, baby, is it true, did you really take a bullet for my mom?" He asked.

"It wasn't a big deal. I was wearing a bullet proof vest." I said. "It _is _a big deal! I don't think I've ever seen her smile that big. I have to go check on Kylie, but when you get out of here, we're gonna throw a kick ass party. Bye, sweetie, I love you." Kyle kissed my cheek.

"Sweet!" I mumbled as I watched his sexy little ass leave.


	11. Chapter 11

**You should probably see the zip lining episode before reading this chapter. There's a few spoilers for it and jokes. R&R please. Thank you.**

Chapter 11

_Someone was gently running their fingers through my hair. 'Morning all ready?' I moaned. 'I know, I know, sweetie pie, but the nightmare's almost over, you have to get up.' Wait a minute that wasn't Eric's voice. _

_I opened my eyes to meet a pair of baby blues. 'Melanie?!' I cried. She giggled, 'Yeah, who else would I be? Listen, you have to get up. The tour's about to leave, and then we'll finally be free from this hell.' _

_'Tour?' I glanced up in time to see a man with a zip lining T-shirt, escorting a group of old people onto a van labeled 'Zip Lining' _

_'Goddamn it, not this again!' I cried. 'Come on, hurry up! The sooner we get on that bus. The sooner we can get out of here!' Melanie grabbed my hand and pulled me up. _

_'Careful, Theo, don't slip in the-' What did she just call me? Before I could wrap my head around, I slipped in a mud puddle and landed flat on my ass. _

_I groaned and sat up, but then fell back down again in shock when I saw my reflection in the mud. 'Dafaq!' I shouted, 'I'm Theo?' _

_'Come on! You can wash up later!' Melanie called and pulled me up, dragging me into the van. _

_The next thing I know, we're listening to an old guy tell his life story, 'So long story short I woke up on my fifth birthday expecting a puppy, but...'_

_'Oh no!' Melanie cried and clutched her stomach. 'Oh God, not here, not now.' I hissed. 'No, no, NO! I think the twins died of boredom!' _

_'Dude? How is that possible?' I said. 'How is it not possible?' A voice suddenly asked. I looked desperately around the van, 'Theo, where are you?' I asked. 'In your head. I'm here to warn you. Don't let us go zip lining on our honeymoon. Good luck.' _

Someone was gently running their fingers through my hair. "Eric, is that you this time?" I whispered. "Yeah, who else would I be?" he said. Then he frowned, "Are you having an affair with Stan?"

"NO!" I cried and quickly explained my nightmare to him. "Dafaq, Kahl. That is weird! Oh well, at least you're not with Stan."

"Speaking of Stan. I have to find one of those old videos Stan made about the dangers of zip lining and show them to Theo and Melanie." I said as I ran to the attic to find them.

"Wait, Jew! You'll end up jacking it in San Diego!" Eric called after me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Another pic from the last chapt. I drew Theo (Kyle) and Melanie differently because in the other pic they were younger also I was trying to go less anime on the animation. Hope you like it and this chapter! Tell me what you think. **

** art/Kyle-s-Dream-374476448?ga_submit_new=10%253A1369780344**

Chapter 12

"Thanks again, Token! I mean I really was willing to pay, but-" He cut me off, "It's fine, Ky. You made me feel and look young again. To me that's worth more than money. Now stop sucking up to me enjoy the party."

Token had let us use his mansion to throw our kick ass OMG Eric saved my mom/baby shower/engagement party. Everyone was there from my parents to Clyde. Even Kevin showed up in a Star Wars costume, claiming that he thought it was a costume party.

When Mom arrived, she had a plate of cookies in the shape of the star of David, and offered them to Eric. "Sorry, the only cookie cutters I could find were in this shape because all we ever make are Hanukkah cookies."

"Awe, Mrs. Brovfloski. It's OK. Hanukkah's actually my favorite holiday." Eric elbowed me, "Isn't that right, Kahl?" I rolled my eyes, and grabbed a cookie.

Mom slapped my hand, "Kyle are you insane! These cookie will put you in a diabetic coma. They're for Eric. I used plenty of sugar to make them super sweet for my savior."

"You really didn't have to. Saving you was nothing, it was my job, and I was wearing a bullet proof vest and-Oh my God! These cookies are AMAZING! What's your secret?" Eric cried.

"Come," Mom said, "I'll write down the recipe, of course if you make them, you'll have to cut back on the sugar for Kyle, so they won't taste as good." "I'm used to that." He said.

"Hey, I'm right here!" I shouted indignantly. Mom chuckled, "I don't know how you deal with that temper of his, Eric. I think he gets it from his father."

"Yeah, right, my father." I said sarcastically. I watched them walk away, chatting and laughing. I should be happy that she was beginning to accept Eric, but I wasn't. All I ever wanted was for her to love to me.

"Heya, Ky, what's up?" Butters said. "Hi, Butters." I sighed. "What's the matter?" He asked. "Nothing." I replied.

"Well, I'm upset because Ken started up a little drinking game and now he's making a fool of himself and he's flirting with women." Butters said. "Drinking game, huh?" I asked.

"Oh no, Kyle! The last time you got drunk, you ended up embarssing yourself by singing Taylor Swift and got a real bad hangover right before your wedding." Butters cried.

I shrugged, "Still worth it. Now gimme a beer."

* * *

"Are you sure you can read lips?" I asked Kenny as I sipped the last drop of beer from my cup. Guess it was time for another round. What would this be...my third? "Of course I can! I'll prove it. You see your hubbie and your mom down there?" Kenny said.

I snickered, "Hubbie...hehehe, that's a funny word." I laughed, "He's my tubby hubbie...hehehehe...tubby hubbie...that's even funnier because..." I suddenly realized aloud, "Oh my God I'm sooo drunk!"

"Join the club," Kenny said, "now let's see what your mom and tubby hubbie are discussing." He squinted, as he tried to read their lips. "Dude, not cool!" He cried.

"What are they talking about?" I asked. "I think they're insulting the size of your manhood, yeah, saying it's smaller than a peanut...no wait...make that a chocolate chip." Kenny said.

"WHAT?!" I shouted, "I'm gonna go tell 'em off!" I ran to the table where Mom and Eric were sitting and stuck up both of my middle fingers. "How dare you diss me like that! Eric, you've seen it, you know it's not true!"

"Kahl, are you drunk?" Eric asked. "Damn right. Now suck me dry!" I demanded and was about to unzip my pants.

"Kyle, you are making a fool of yourself!" Mom shouted, "Here we were having an innocent conversation about cookies and-"

Chocolate chips, peanuts? Shit, you can put those in cookies, can't you. I was _really _drunk. So drunk, that I...

* * *

"Hey your awake, how are you feeling?" Eric said gently. I looked around. Huh, guess I teleported into our bed...with a massive headache. "What happened?" I moaned.

"You just embarrassed yourself, and chugged your lunch out on your mom's feet, no biggie. It was kinda cute. You should get drunk more often." Eric explained.

I smiled, "Honey, no matter what happens with me and my mom and shit, I love you. Don't ever change."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Two days to go before the wedding. There was a lot of work to do. While Melanie went out with her aunt to find the wedding dress of her dreams, Theo practiced smashing the glass. Yeah, even though it wasn't a Jewish wedding we were still having that.

"I really wish you'd use the fine china, that'd be hilarious." Eric said. "Are you crazy?!" I cried, "I have to drive Kylie to ballet practice...Theo you're in charge. Make sure your dad doesn't do anything stupid."

"Sure thing, Mom." Theo said. "Hey! That's not fair!" Eric shouted. "I'll be back in a few. If you burn the house down, I'll get my dad to sue...Remember Theo, you're an adult now, so I can sue you." I kissed their cheeks and headed out.

I joined Kylie in the car, "Sorry to keep you waiting." "It's OK...Can I have a pet monkey?" She said. I chuckled, "I thought you wanted a pony."

"Oh, I still do. I'd love a pony, don't get me wrong," Kylie explained, "but Ashley's parents are travel agents and they're going to a jungle in India and they promised to bring her back a monkey. So I wanna show her off by getting a better monkey."

"What can a monkey give you that Rover can't. It'll just bite your face off while Rover will give you love and kisses." I said.

"Well, in that case, can I have a pony?" Kylie asked. "No," I said as I pulled into the ballet studio, "I'll see you at four as usual. Bye honey, I love you." I kissed her cheek.

I was happy to find that the house hadn't burnt down when I returned home. Leaving Theo in charge was actually a good idea. "I'm home, guys!" I called.

"Kahl, Kahl, look what Theo taught me how to do!" Eric held up an origami penguin. "Cool!" I said, "Now let's go sugar free wedding cake sampling. We are really behind on wedding planning. I don't even have time to shout, 'OMFG my baby boy's getting married in T-minis two days!'"

I took a couple deep breaths in as this crossed my mind. "You OK?" Eric asked. I shook my head. "Alright, how about you go rest and we go sample the cake." I nodded and collapsed onto to the couch taking in some much needed rest.

(Melanie's POV)

"Oh Aunty, this is so embarrassing!" I cried as we left the _third _store at the mall. "Don't worry about it, Mel. Holding two babies in there, is nothing to be ashamed of. If we have to go to a store where they sell double xl sizes, so be it." Aunty assured me.

I burst into tears, "It's my wedding, I'm supposed to look beautiful. How can I look beautiful when I can only fit into a dress for an elephant!"

"Now you stop that right now. Most people will think of that stomach as a blessing from God. Don't act like a spoiled brat. Think about it, you're gonna have two beautiful babies, and you're going to marry the love of your life. What can you possibly be complaining about?" Aunty shouted.

"Well, if you put it that way." I mumbled, "Do you have a tissue?" "Here." Aunty handed me a tissue, "Why don't you go into the ladies' room and fix yourself up, and then we'll start again at a store where they sell clothing for heftier women."

I could imagine what a looked like...fat as a whale...mascara running down my face. Theo must have low standards in women. I sighed before finally facing the monster that appeared in the reflection of the bathroom mirror.

At this point I told myself that it was best to take Aunty's advice, and not take any of this for granted, specifically Theo's love.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"OMFG my son is getting married. OMFG my son is getting married. OMFG my son is-OW! Dafaq?" I opened my eyes to see Eric's hand moving from my cheek.

"Did you just slap me?" I asked. "I had to, Kahl, you were shouting that over and over in your sleep. It was keeping me up!" Eric said. "Sorry," I said, "I can't help it. Theo's-" "Getting married, I know. I'm going to sleep on the couch. See you in the morning."

* * *

"Remember to smile." I told Theo. "Mom, stop pestering me. Go bother Kylie or something, she's the one crying." He said. "Crying?" I echoed.

I ran to the bride to be and the little flower girl, tears running down her face. I hated it when she cried. "Oh, come here, baby." I wrapped my arms around her, "Tell me what happened."

"I-I'm not g-gonna r-r-ride out on a...pooooooonnnnnny." She sobbed. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I cried, "That's what you're upset about?!"

"But you promised, Mommy." She whined. I sighed and tried my best to use a gentle tone with her, "No, I didn't, sweetie. Now, lighten up. Today isn't about you. It's about Theo and Melanie."

"How can it not be about me? I'm the adorable flower girl that everyone loves." Kylie said. "It's about time you learned that the world doesn't revolve around you." I said. "But I'm the adorable flower girl that everyone loves." Kylie repeated.

I sighed, "Melanie, you deal with this. I'm too tired. I got no sleep last night. I'm gonna make sure there's a kosher option on the menu for tonight for most of the relatives on the groom's side."

Melanie nodded, "Sure thing, Mr. C, I could use a little practice for the twins." "You can call me Kyle now." I said. "OK...Kyle."

As I expected, there were kosher options available for the meal. Now back to the groom.

I ran back to Theo, and frowned, "Where the hell is your best man?" "Dennis'll be here in a few. He's stuck in traffic." "Dude, the guests will be here in like ten minutes!" I cried, "In fact, here comes my parents...Super early as usual."

I approached them, "Hey Mom, Dad." "Where's Eric?" Mom asked. "Oh, so that's how it's gonna be now. No, 'Hey son, how have you been?' Just-"

"Ohmygod, it's Mrs. B! What's up?" Eric came running and slapped my mom high five, and then they did some sort of secret handshake.

"Dafaq?" I said with my jaw wide open. "Eric and I got tight over the past few weeks through FaceTime, and sometimes he would stop by my place after work." Mom explained.

"You said you were working late...Dude you're pretty much cheating on me with my mom...That is messed up!" I cried.

"It's not like that. We would've invited you, but you wouldn't be able to eat the cookies we baked." Eric said, then he turned back to Mom, "Are those new shoes?"

She smiled, "As a matter of fact they are since _someone _barfed on the old ones!" "Come on, it wasn't my fault I was drunk!" I said.

More guests came in, and Dennis was the last one, some best man. He quickly ran next to Theo as they began to play Here Comes the Bride.

Kylie came out with a sign that read 'For the record, I should be on a pony', followed by Melanie and a few bridesmaids.

I won't bore you with the whole 'Dearly Beloved' crap, but most people would say that it was beautiful and stuff. Anyway, Theo and Melanie said 'I do' and kissed. Everybody cheered and I cried.

* * *

Some people think I'm a genius...I beg to differ. But I was smart enough to stay away from alcohol that night. Theo was the real genius, and tonight was his special night.

"WAIT I HAVE A SPEECH!" Eric shouted and ran to the stage, "All right. Theo, my first born-"

"We all know _I'm _their favorite!" Kylie shouted. "Shut up!" I hissed.

Eric rolled his eyes and continued, "What can I say? I remember when I first saw you. You were just a fuzzy little dot on an ultrasound, and now you're getting married. What is this? Most of the time I have no idea what you're talking about, but when I do it's something that makes me realize how much I love you.

You have your mom's eyes and smile, but my hairline and nose. You have your mom's smarts, too, but I think the real reason you're a genius is because you realized you were in love in third grade, while most kids that age would just run away from the girl, you approached her and now you're sitting next to her. Smart men never back down from the things they know are important, and Theo knows the most important thing is love, so he'll never leave Melanie. I mean come on, they've been together since third grade.

So, anyway, Theo, as your father, I've never been more proud of you and I'm proud to call you my son...Plus you're named after me, so that kicks ass." Eric concluded.

But he quickly ran back on stage and added, "As for Melanie, I haven nothing to say, so let's hope I'll get to know you better soon so I _will_ have something to say."

"That was beautiful, Eric. Why didn't you say something like that at our wedding?" I said. He flipped me off and headed towards the buffet.

"I love you, too, honey." I said sarcastically, and began to reconsider my decision of staying away from alcohol.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Are we late? Did we miss it?" I asked. "Sort of." Theo turned to face us and I smiled when I saw the blue blanket in his hands.

"Is that one of them?" Eric asked. "Yup," Theo held up the baby boy, "Mom and Dad, this is Peter. Peter, this is Grandma and Grandpa."

"Oh look, Eric, he has your eyes." I said. "Yeah, he does." Eric said, excitedly. "I wonder if he'll get the ginger genes when his hair starts to grow in." I said.

We suddenly heard the soft sound of a baby crying coming from the other room. "That must be Jane." Theo said as we ran inside. Sure enough, an exhausted Melanie was cradling a pink blanket.

"Cute little baby, isn't she? Has your eyes, Theo." Melanie smiled and winked at me, too. We took a glance at Jane and grinned. "Is that blonde hair?...Huh wonder where that came from." I mumbled.

"Well, it's actually very common for a baby to be born blonde and become brunette over time." Theo said. "That is true." I said.

"Can I see Peter again?" Melanie asked. "Of course, dear." Theo handed her the blue blanket.

"Wow." She sighed, "I can't believe this!" "Neither can I." Theo said. He hopped onto the bed next them and snuggled close.

"I guess, we'll leave you too alone." Eric said, "Come on, Kahl." I nodded, "Call if you need anything."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I finished making the beds, and decided to give Melanie a call. She must've been going through hell right now with her two week old twins to deal with all by herself (Theo was at the lab).

"Hey, Mel, how's it go'in?" I asked. "Oh, it's going great...No, we don't eat that! Peter, get that out of your mouth!" Melanie said. That didn't sound good. "Do you need any help?" I asked, "I did the whole mommy thing...twice, actually. So, I can do it two times again."

"I guess, four hands will be better than two and I could really use the help now that Theo's away." Melanie said. "Then I'll be right over." I offered. "Thanks, Ky, you're the best!"

* * *

"So, you see, the secret is to distract them with a toy while you burp them, so they don't get all fussy about it and refuse to burp." I said as I burped Jane with one hand and held up a teddy bear with the other.

"Huh, never thought of that...Can you feed Sloppy Kisses when you're done, I still have to burp Peter after his diaper change." Melanie said.

"Sure thing." I said. I went to go get the cat food, but paused when I saw the cell phone vibrating on the mantle. "Someone's calling you!" I shouted. "Oh, no! That's Theo's phone, he forgot to take it. You can answer it if you want and tell them they can reach him at the lab." Melanie replied.

I picked up the phone, "Hello?" "Theo," Eric said, "can you get your ass over to the Brovfloskis' ASAP."

Huh, looked like he was spending one of those late nights with my mom _again. _I figured he was more likely to tell Theo what he was up to than me.

"All right," I answered, "can I ask why you and Mo-my grandma are so tight all of a sudden. I thought you hated her."

"I do, she's the biggest bitch in the world, but it doesn't matter. Look, just get over here. We have to talk." Eric said. "We can talk now." I said.

"All right, fine, but you can't tell _anyone, _got it?" Eric said. "Uh-huh." I replied. "We're taking the burden off of Kyle, and we're planning Kylie's tenth birthday party, instead of him, but it's gonna be a surprise party, got it."

"So, why didn't you tell Mom?" I asked. "I told you, it's a _surprise. _I really just want to prove to Kyle that I can plan a wholesome party that Kylie will love without alcohol or strippers, and that I can collaborate with his mom if I had to and that I can be the responsible one, so he doesn't have to stress."

"Awwe, Eric, that is so sweet." I cooed. Then I clamped my hand over my mouth. Shit! Guess I just blew my cover.

"Dafaq, Theo? Did you breath in some weird ass chemical or something?" Eric said. Or maybe not..."Yeah...I think I just...created a nuclear fusion...Shit, it's not stable, it's gonna blow up, I have to go...NOW! Bye, love you." I quickly hung up and let out a sigh of relief.

Eric's POV

"Nuclear fusion? Dafaq's that?" I cried. He didn't reply. "No, Theo! Don't tell me you hung up on me!" Still no reply. Shit, I had to save him from this thing...Whatever it was...As long as it didn't have anything to do with a nuclear bomb. Then we were all screwed.

But when I burst into the lab, I found Theo cleaning a test tube, looking perfectly fine. "Where's the bomb?" I shouted. He turned, "Oh, hey, Dad...What bomb?" "The nuclear fusion." I reminded him.

To my surprise, Theo chuckled, "I'm not working with any type of nuclei, and if I were, I would continue to double check if they were stable, so you don't have to worry about that."

"Dafaq?" I shouted. "Well, nuclei is the plural form of nucleus, and when we're talking about physics, rather than biology, a nucleus is-" I cut him off, "Don't confuse me further. Why did you tell me you just created a nuclear fusion and it was going to blow up?"

Now Theo looked confused (which is a rare because he knows everything). "I never told you that." Huh, maybe he did breath in a weird ass chemical.

"Yes, you did," I stated, "Over the phone." "That's impossible," Theo said, I" left my phone at Melanie's, and the phone over there hasn't rung once today."

I pulled out my phone, and played back the conversation I had with him (as a cop, I often record conversations I have on my phone, and luckily I forgot to turn off the recorder for this conversation).

"That's Mom," Theo said, "and if the horrible attempt to mimic my voice didn't reveal that, the 'Awe, Eric, that is so sweet', should've made it more than evident."

"Dafaq." I said. "You're overusing that term." Theo said, "And to clarify Mom was pretending to me over the phone and you were a fucking idiot not to realize it."

"Yeah, I got that, but what I don't understand is why he did it." I said. Theo shrugged, "I have two theories, one you'll understand, the other you won't. Do you want to hear them?"

"Sure, what the hell." I said. "All right, the first being psychological, of course, considering his dream a few weeks ago, and Melanie commenting on our matching eyes, and winking at him later when we saw that Jane also had our eyes, his mind matches the image and inadvertently matches the two together thus becoming one." Theo stated.

"You mean Kyle subconsciously thinks he's you because you have the same eyes?" I asked. Theo grinned, "I thought you wouldn't get that one...There's more to it, of course, but that was just the basics."

"As for the other theory, I think it's pretty simple, he was curious as to why you were so tight with Grandma so suddenly, but thought you were less likely to tell him and more likely to tell me." Theo summed up.

"You're a fucking genius." was all I could say at this point. "Thank you," Theo said.

"So, anyway, why did you want me to come to Grandma's house?" "Well, you know at some kids party, you always have that nerd like Bill Nye come by and blow something up or something cool?" I asked.

"You want me to be that guy at Kylie's party?" Theo inferred. "Yup!" I said. "OK, I can do that. But if you _really _want her to love the party, you should get pony rides." He suggested.

"Better," I laughed, "It has a unicorn theme, so we're having pony rides, but we're gonna put those little party hats on them to make them look like unicorns."

Theo smiled, "Cheap, cheesy, and most importantly of all, so Kylie." We laughed.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Still getting over the fact that she's turning ten today." I said as I headed into Kylie's room to wake her up. "If she doesn't love this party...well then...I'll be really pissed off!" Eric said. "Don't worry, there's ponies, so I'm sure she'll love it." I assured him.

I crept into the birthday girl's room and gently shook her awake. Kylie sat up and grinned, "I'm ten!" "You are?" I said, "Eric, did you know that?" He shook his head, "No, I didn't. I think your birthday was last year."

"No, it's today!" Kylie cried. "I think you're mistaken. Come on, sweetie, it's breakfast time. It's your favorite, french toast with lots of mapple syrup." I said.

* * *

(Kylie's POV)

How could they forget? I was so angry. The least they could d. Was acknowledge the fact that they forgot. I thought they loved me. Maybe I should run away.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" I called. Mom came in, "Hey, honey, you wanna go see Grandma and Grandpa?" I shrugged, "Why not?"

So, the next thing I know, I'm wondering if my grandparents might remember my birthday. Maybe Grandma Sheila baked some of those delicious cookies.

"Here, we are." Dad said as he parked the car. "All right." I sighed and hopped out. Mom and Dad followed me inside, only to find the lights off.

"Hello?" I called. The lights suddenly turned on, and everybody popped out and shouted, "Surprise!" "Oh my God!" I cried. I looked around the room to find the smiling faces of my family members.

"Is this for me?" I asked. "Of course it is. You didn't actually think we forgot, did you?" Mom said. I shook my head. "Happy birthday, sweetie!"

* * *

(Kyle's POV)

"Well, she definitely seems to be enjoying the pon-sorry, unicorn rides." I said. "Yup, and I definitely seem to be enjoying your mom's cookies and my mom's cake." Eric said as he continued to stuff his face with sweets.

"I have to say, Eric, you were right, you _can _plan a party." I said. "Why do you sound so surprised?" he asked.

Theo came over, "Hey, Dad, when are the kids getting here?" "Kids?" Eric asked. "Yeah, like Kylie's friends?" Theo said. "Um..." Eric said. "Don't tell me you didn't invite them." Theo cried.

"Well, I sent out some invitations, and somehow got into this group text." Eric held out his phone, -_Anyone who shows up to that faggy party Kylie's having will be banned from popularity. _

_-True, LOL, she's such a dork! _

_-And her parents are gay...EW!_

"Oh my God, that is so mean!" I shouted, "Let's track down their numbers and call their parents. They are going to get into so much trouble when their parents-"

"Kahl, I actually think some of these messages are _from _their parents." Eric said. "Shit, really?" I said, and scrolled through more despicable texts, "Eek, you're right, I don't think fourth grade girls, know that kind of language."

Kylie came up on her pony, "Hey, guys, when are my friends getting here?" "Umm..." We said at the same time. "I got this." Eric whispered.

"Baby," Eric said gently, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but...an asteroid just hit all of your friends' houses and killed them." "WHAT?!" Kylie cried.

"I know," Theo said, "asteroids never leave their orbit, it would be a meteorite...And the last meteorite hit earth roughly 65 million years ago."

"Where'd she go?" I asked. We looked around the backyard. Kylie was no where to be found.

Melanie came running, twins in her arms, "Kylie left a note by the twins' bottles, it says she ran away!"

"Ran away?" Liane cried, "Someone call the police!" We all turned to Eric, who cleared his throat. "Oh right. Sorry, muffin cake."

Normally I would be snickering at Liane calling him muffin cake, but right now, I was panicking about the whereabouts of my baby girl. I wanted nothing more than her in my arms again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey, guys, I have a two and a half hour study hall today, so I have nothing to do except KYMAN and MAROON 5. I'm going in order of when the songs came out, right now I'm at This Love, let's see if I make it to Payphone LOL. Seriously though, I needed this study hall yesterday before my math and science final exams (which I probably bombed). Anyway, back to the fic. Prepare to see lots of updates in the next two hours (hopefully).**

**PLEASE R&R THANK YOU.**

Chapter 18

"Did you find her?" I asked Eric. "No, I looked everywhere." He said. "We'll head up to Denver first thing in the morning, then, she couldn't have gotten any farther, especially on foot." I said. "She's not on foot, she took the pony, remember." Eric pointed out. "Damn it!" I cried...Literally; I started to cry.

"Theo will be back soon, it's getting dark. Maybe he found her." Eric said. "Get real, she's on a pony, by now, she probably crossed thr border to Utah, or Kansas, or New Mexico, or Arizona, or Wyoming, or Nebraska, or Oklahoma." I sobbed.

"I took geometry, Kahl, I know the states Colorado border." Eric said. "Geography." I mumbled, too upset to get angry at his stupidity. He flipped me off, "Same thing, and if you don't mind being alone tonight, I could drive to Denver and look for her."

"No, they are _not_ the same thing, they-Wait what?" I said. "I said I'll drive to Denver, _tonight._" He repeated.

"Then, I'm coming with you." I said. "No, you're not. Someone have to stay home, in case Kylie comes back." Eric reminded me. I nodded, "All right, I'll stay here. Just be careful, you're going out of your jurisdiciton, remember."

"OK, hopefully, I'll be back in the morning with Kylie...I'll call you." Eric said as he started to pack some things in case he planned to take longer than expected.

With teary eyes, I kissed him goodbye. "Bring back our baby." I whispered. "I will, I promise." Eric said and, like that, he was out the door.

**I'm at Sunday Morning, don't mind me, LOL, I'm just a huge Maroon 5 fan and know almost all of their songs! Wish me luck on my quest for the Payphone, and I'll probably be updating again in the next hourish. *Sigh* it's going to be a long Tuesday. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Please forgive me for not updating when I said I would. :( Good news, however, I did make it to Payphone. ;) Also, shout-out to Mollanise for all the reviews, keep it ip! So enjoy. **

Chapter 19

(Eric's POV)

So, I find myself in a motel room just outside the border between Colorado and Utah, craving internet. I hope the little bitch knows what she's putting me through. A night away from the internet...Oh and Kyle...Yeah, but internet firstly and most importantly because I could always use the internet to Skype with him, and if I missed physical contact with him, there was always internet porn.

Oh well, at least the motel served buffet breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I always had that to look forward to. I sighed, looking up at the dusty, cobweb infesting ceiling, and tried to fall asleep.

* * *

(Kyle's POV)

I kept dialing Eric's number, but it was to no avail. He just wouldn't answer. Maybe a wild alpaca ate his phone...Or he was ignoring me...Or he was somewhere where he couldn't get phone service. Yeah, the last thought was the most plausible.

There was a knock on the door. Maybe it was Eric with Kylie, and the wild alpaca ate his keys instead of his phone...or he just locked his keys in his car again.

_'Stop over thinking things. Just shut up and open the door!" _my conscience shouted. I obeyed only to find Theo. Don't get me wrong, I'm always happy to see my son, but right now isn't the best time.

"No luck, huh?" I asked. "I never said that...Although, it's not exactly luck either." Theo stated. "I'm listening." I said. "All right, come to our lab, it'll be easier to explain once you see it." "Don't tell me your gonna rebuild Kylie as a robot and replace her." I said.

He chuckled, "You'll see." Oh God, I recognized that mad scientist look (from both myself and Mephesto), and knowing Theo, of all people with that look, all hell could break lose. I was so scared I could've shit my pants.


	20. Chapter 20

**Be prepared for some crazy and random shit that you won't expect in this chapter. **

Chapter 20

"I don't understand." I said as I held up the hair. Theo had simply given me a red curl, claiming it to be Kylie's. "I don't want her hair, I want _her._" I said. "Exactly, if we put the hair, in this machine that I invented last night, it will hopefully give us her current coordinates." Theo explained.

I glanced at what looked like a microwave oven. "Dafaq!" I said, "That's amazing, baby, you really _are _a genius."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll go great with the teleportor I invented to teleport us to that coordinate." Theo said nonchalantly as he gestured to what looked like a payphone.

"What is this, Doctor Who?" I said. "I was thinking more like a Maroon 5 video, but we can go nerdy if you want." Theo said as he placed Kylie's hair in the first machine. I frowned, "Awe, come on! Really. You watch Lord of the Rings and Star Wars, like that's cool!"

Theo rolled his eyes as we watched the microwave machine scan the hair. "By the way, you read the books, I think that's _nerdiest_."

The machine let off a beeping noise as the coordinates, 38.8900° N, 77.0300° W, magically (scratch that-_scientifically) _appeared.

"Holy crap, that's Washington DC*!" Theo cried. "How did Kylie ever get there?" I wondered. "Who knows, but we've gotta teleport there, quick!" Theo said.

"All right, just let me call Eric first...Just asking, does it function as a payphone?" I said as I dialed his number. Theo shook his head. "Damn it, busy again!" I sighed.

"How 'bout, you teleport after Dad, and I teleport after Kylie." Theo offered. "I don't know." I mumbled, and then reluctantly said, "OK, you're smarter than me, I trust you. Thanks, Theo."

"Wait, I need some DNA from Dad so we can find out his coordinates." Theo said. "Right, right...Um..." I thought for a moment, "Oh, how can I be so stupid!" I pulled the small container from my pocket.

"Jesus, is that what I think it is!" Theo cried. I shrugged, "What's wrong with carrying his cum around? He carries mine around."

"GROSS! That is fucked up, man!" Theo shouted in disgust, "I'm not touching that, you put it in the machine!" "OK, I understand." I said and put it in the machine. As expected, the coordinates came up!

"Now, you just have to dial the coordinates into the phone, and you'll be there!" Theo informed me. "All right, good luck with Kylie." I pulled him into a hug, "I really mean it, you're smarter than me."

"Thank you." Theo said, "Before things get even gushier I better go, plus the sooner I get Kylie, the sooner I can get back to Melanie and the twins."

I nodded and let him teleport off. All he had to do was dial the numbers, and then BAM, he disappeared.

I then grinned and took my turn to teleport. I stepped into the payphone booth and dialed the coordinates to my tubby hubbie. In a blink, I was out of the lab, and in what seemed to be a motel bed, in Eric's arms.

I smiled as I glanced up at his sleeping face. "Hey, sweetie." I whispered and gently patted his head.

Eric moaned, "Not now, Kahl." Then he opened his eyes, "Kahl?" I kissed his cheek, "Yeah, baby, it's me. I teleported here."

"If I had some condoms, and I wasn't so exahausted, I'd screw you right now." He mumbled and closed his eyes.

* * *

(Theo's POV)

I found myself in a room surrounded by a bunch of official looking men (suits and everything). Kylie and her pony hid behind one of their backs. "Theo?" She whispered. I nodded and gestured to the back open window.

"Excuse me, you shouldn't be here." One of the men said. "Yeah, well, I was just leaving." I said and hopped out the window, catching Kylie on her way out. The pony unfortunately burst through the glass, and set of an alarm.

"Run!" I shouted. "No need." Kylie said and hopped onto the pony. Oh, yeah, that was more practical. I got on as well, and then we were off...The pony ran so fast that it created the allusion of flight; It looked like we were five above the ground, slowly lifting, higher and higher until...

"Holy crap, we _are _flying!" I cried. I instantly recognized the house we flew over which we had just escaped from, that now, of course, looked like a tiny little doll house. "Kylie, before I get started on the flying pony, I 'm going to ask what you were doing in the white house." I said.

"First of all, it turns out, he's not a flying pony." Kylie said. I looked down at what used to be cream colored, but was now pink fur, and pink wings that extended on either side. Then I noticed the pink horn on top of its pink mane. "Dafaq! A unicorn!" I screamed.

"He's not just a unicorn, either," Kylie said calmly, "He's a pigicorn, half flying pig, half unicorn."

"Ky," I sighed, "I think the last twenty-four hours have been a dream...teleportors, DNA coordinators, and now pigicorns. Just please pinch me and wake me up."

"You're not dreaming, Theo," Kylie said, "And we have a long way back home without those little peanuts and TVs they give you to pass the time on planes, so why don't I tell you what happened to me."

**Stay tuned for the story of Kylie's wacky adventure with the pigicorn and stuff! *Those are the real coordinates, I googled them* And please don't be afraid to tell me what you think about this weird fantasy twist. See ya next time!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

(Kylie's POV)

At this point, I was going with my original plan of running away. I left a note explaining to my family how much I loved them and would miss them, but I had to go to make new friends and show off my awesome pony, so I was leaving forever. After that the pony and I were out of there.

"Well, Pony, since we're gonna be together for a while, I guess I'll have to give you a name." I told him. Then I shrugged and said, "Screw it, I'll call you Pony."

Not shortly after we left, I got hungry and realized that I hadn't packed any birthday cake and cookies for my trip.

* * *

"Really," Theo laughed, "You were leaving forever and you didn't pack any food. You really do have Dad's wit." I rolled my eyes, "Just shut up and listen to the story."

* * *

So I stopped at little greasy spoon in a small town nearby, only to realize, it's hard to get food without any money...Plus they wouldn't let Pony inside and that just sucked.

As I walked outside, someone bumped into us. I instantly recognized him as one of the dudes who rented the ponies for the party.

"Hello, little girl." He greeted me. "No! You can't have Pony! He's my new best friend!" I shouted. "But there's something you should know about this pony." He said.

"NO! Run, Pony, run!" I gave him a little kick, and then the craziest thing happened. Pony ran so fast, he was flying, and he turned bright pink, and grew wings and horn.

"OHMYGOD!" I screamed. This was amazing totally surreal! I can't even begin to explain how magical it is to sour through the clouds, and watch your feet dangle above all the tiny, little houses, trees, and people.

* * *

Theo chuckled, "You don't need to explain it, we're doing it now!" He pointed out. "Again, just shut up, and listen to the story!" I said.

* * *

We were flying, and best of all, Pony was some sort of kick ass magical mutant horse thingie. Then the moment was killed by two tranquilizers shot in the air; one for me and one for Pony.

The next thing I know, we're surrounded by a bunch big ol' men in suits...And the president and vice president! They explain to me that I shouldn't know about Pony's existence and I should go home, so they politely walked me out of the white house...Oh, and I got my cookie after all.

Of course, I wasn't going to let them take Pony away from, so I snuck back in when their backs were turned. The men with suits were taking Pony hostage into a room full of cages filled with all sorts of magical creatures...Like unicorns, Smurfs, tanks with mermaids, little fairy things like Tinker Belle, oh and Nicky Minaj, of course."

"So that crazy conspiracy on the internet is true!" I cried, "The government is hiding magical stuff!" Then I clamped my hand over my mouth because I realized that I revealed my hiding spot.

They all looked at me, but luckily, the were so focused on me that they forgot about Pony, who ran for it. I quickly ran after him, and sure enough the men followed, all you needed was that chasing music from Scooby Doo.

I caught up to Pony and hopped onto his back, but he was too scared to take his true form and lfy away; I can't blame him.

"Stop her, she's stealing our pigicorn!" one of the men shouted. "Pigicorn?" I echoed. "Yeah, half flying pig, half unicorn." He explained. Then another man slapped him, "Dude, she can't know that."

Finally they were able to surround us, and that's about when you came in, Theo.

* * *

"So, now, that government is probably gonna start tracking us." Theo said, and sarcastically added, "Great!"

"Oh, you don't have to worry about the government." I said, and grinned as I pulled out the Men in Black light thing that I had so sneakily stolen out of one of the men's pockets. "They don't remember any of it."

**No offense to Nicky Minaj, LOL. Here's a pic! **

** art/Kylie-and-Pony-376666950?ga_submit_new=10%253A1370707383. **

**You can see the house from Up in the background!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry for the wait! **

**The knock-knock jokes came from /title/The+World%2527s+Worst+Knock+Knock+Jokes, so I can proudly say I can't take credit for them. **

**R&R, please. Thanks. Again sorry for the wait. Next chapt, I'm planning on having another wacky experiment created by Theo in the lab, so stay tuned for that! **

Chapter 22

Although Eric was reluctant, we let Kylie keep Pony (as long as he promised to keep his pony form when the neighbors were around). I was just glad that my little baby was back home, safe and sound...And that everything was back to normal, too.

Having said that, I don't think I'll ever be used to Theo being a family man. But now he was spending more time at home with Melanie and twins than he was in the lab. And believe it or not I was happy for him...Blessed actually, for seeing the family get this big (Rover, Sloppy Kisses, and Pony included).

_...So, all in all, this was a pretty good year full of science, adventures, births, and of course lots of love. _

_Happy holidays, everyone!_

"Kahl, the photographer's here!" Eric called. I looked up from the holiday greeting card and laughed, "Take that hat off." He was wearing a goofy red santa hat complete with the little bells and poofy white ball.

"Awe, come on, the twins get to wear miniature ones." Eric pouted. "OK, you look stupid." I said, "And if it's making a religious point, I'll point out that the twins are not even a year old and they've been to church more than you ever have...Plus it will give my mom a reason to hate you again."

Eric flipped me off, "At least I can go to church without bursting into flames."

I ripped the hat from his head...revealing a really bad haircut. It was as if he attempted to get bangs, but changed his mind last minute, and it ended up all lopsided and hilarious.

"Shit," I giggled, "Was your barber drunk or something...On second thought, I think you'll look better with this thing on." I put the Santa hat back on Eric's head.

Hand in hand, we went downstairs to find Kylie entertaining the photographer with some knock-knock jokes. Oh, wait, did I say knock-knock jokes, I meant cheesy and awkward...I can't even come up with a word to describe how bad these jokes were.

KNOCK, KNOCK  
Who's there?  
Boo  
Boo, who?  
Don't cry, little baby

KNOCK, KNOCK  
Who's there?  
Jimmy  
Jimmy, who?  
Jimmy a little kiss, will ya, huh?

"All right, we don't want anyone getting the wrong idea." Eric laughed, "Let's take this picture!"

"Oh, wait, can you print a copy small enough to fit in this locket?" I asked. The photographer stared at me awkwardly as I held up my locket, "Wow, dude, that's ga-A 'Ok! Nothing's wrong with being ga-I mean...A 'OK!" I rolled my eyes and nodded, "Thanks. I appreciate it."

Then, he began to set us up, telling us to sit in certain chairs he had arranged around the room. "All right," he said, "You hold the baby boy," he gestured to Melanie, "And you hold the baby girl," he gestured to Theo.

"Oooh, oooh, can I hold Sloppy Kisses?" Kylie asked. "Sloopy-Who-Now?" The photographer asked. "Sloppy Kisses, Melanie and Theo's cat." She clarified and pointed to the fluff ball on the carpet.

"Um...I wasn't aware that-" Kylie cut the man off, "And you didn't tell Rover where to sit...And then there's Pony, we might have to take another picture outside because he's not allowed in the house."

"Sorry," I said, "our daughter feels very affectionate of our pets." "Well, then I suppose, we can take the picture outside, so we can include this...Pony...And, yes, you can hold the cat if you want to."

"Hooray!" Kylie squealed as she ran out to the yard. The photographer chuckled, "Don't you worry, I have a five year old niece, as well, so I know what it's like." "She's actually ten." Eric mumbled.

"Yes, well, girls will be girls. Now let's go outside." The photographer said. I know he was trying to be nice, but we could all tell he was thinking, '_What is this, The Adams Family?' _


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"Awe, baby, you look fine." I assured Eric. "I dunno." He mumbled as he ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I think it's kinda cute." I lied, "Plus, it'll grow back pretty soon...If you haven't noticed that's a major side effect of the shot." I lifted my shirt and revealed the three new red chest hairs that had grown (I was one of those guys who never got chest hair, so showing these off made me almost squeal with glee).

Eric examined my chest, "You know we haven't done it in a while, have we?" He purred in my ear. I grinned, "You're right, it's been _too_ long."

* * *

"Oh God!" I sighed as Eric rolled off of me, panting. He wiped off the dripping sweat from his forehead and said, "Well, that was fun!"

I replied with a kiss to his cheek, "When is it not?" Eric chuckled and shut his eyes, lulling in a completely blissful and tranquilizing afterglow. It made me upset to remind him that he had to leave to work (not to mention with a bad haircut).

As soon as Eric left, I hopped into the shower and scrubbed myself clean of all blood and cum and sexy memories.

After that, I slipped on my fluffy yellow bath robe with little frogs on it, and brewed myself a cup of coffee (Eric taught me how to make drinks-hot cocoa, lemonade, fruit smoothies, ect.).

"Hey, Mom!" Kylie said as she pulled out a box of Lucky Charms. "They're magically delicious!" She mumbled to herself in a corny Irish accent as she poured the milk.

"Morning, sweetie." I greeted her as I took a sip of my coffee. "Happy Saturday." I mumbled.

There was a knock on the door. "I'll get it!" I called, only to find a giggling Melanie with a double stroller containing the twins.

"What's up?" I said. "Your robe." She laughed. "What about it?" I asked. Eric thought I looked cute in it...Of course, after that complement, he'd always rip it off and say I looked sexy without it.

Melanie finally managed to stop laughed and sighed, "Never mind. Anyways, Theo's been in the lab since five AM this morning, says he's made another break through. You wanna come see?"

"Sure!" I said, "Just give me a sec to get dressed...KYLIE!" The girl came running. "Oh, hey, Melanie, Jane, Peter." "Hi, Kylie!" Melanie said.

"Get dressed, honey, we're gonna go see Theo's newest invention." I informed her. "Oh cool!" She went running to her room.

"Rambunctious, little ball of sunshine, isn't she?" Melanie said. I simply nodded, "That's an understatement."

* * *

"So, what did ya make this time, Theo? A time machine? A mind reader? A robot that's gonna take over the world?" Kylie asked.

Theo laughed, "Nope. I made these." He held up a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Dafaq! "What the hell were you thinking?" I cried, "You know that'll put you a diabetic coma!"

He rolled his eyes, "You sound like Grandma Sheila. And these aren't what they look like. They-Kylie, no!" Theo's shout made her drop the cookie before she could take a bite.

"As I was saying," Theo said, "I call them Rabbit Cookies." "Oh God!" I cried, "Please tell me those are chocolate chips and notrabbit turds."

"Ew, no!" Theo shouted, "They're made to influence healthy eating habits." "Honey, no offense, but I think you went mad. Cookies are neverhealthy." Melanie stated.

"But that's where you're mistaken, they're _not _cookies. Allow me to explain." Theo said, "Say, you're a little annoying kid, like Kylie-" "HEY!" Kylie shouted.

He continued as if nothing happened, "Normally, little annoying kids LOVE sweets. So, if you see one of these cookies, you automatically shove it up your little piggish mouth...But then you spit it out because you realize it tastes just like one of those yucky-blucky vegetables your parents make you eat, and then run around and enjoy the rest of your day...Until it's time for dinner, and your parents make you eat one of those vegetables again, only this time, you realize it tastes, just like, say, a cookie, and that cookie you want for dessert tastes like another vegetable.

Slowly, you'll realized that your taste buds have taken a switch, suddenly all the fruits and vegetables and healthy foods taste like sweets and junk food and vice versa." Theo summed up.

"OMFG, that's brilliant!" Melanie shouted. I nodded, equally as excited. "But why are they called Rabbit Cookies?" Kylie asked. "Because, it'll give you the diet of a rabbit, you know, carrots, and lettuce, and all that good stuff." Theo explained.

"I need to give one to Eric ASAP." I said. "NO!" Theo cried, "They're designed for children at a young age, as young as possible-roughly ages four to eight, but maybe even younger depending on their eating habits. I don't know how it will effect anyone older. It could be anything from a mild rash, to full scale stomach cancer."

"Well, that sucks." I said, "At least Kylie's a vegetarian as is." She beamed, "That's right! Did you hear the big news? As of last night, I've decided to become vegetarian!" Kylie announced.

"That's amazing!" Melanie said, "As for me, I can't live without a nice juicy steak." Kylie stuck her tongue out, "If I didn't love ice cream and cheese so much, I might even go completely vegan."

I kept up my smile, but deep down I knew that one trip to McDonald's later and Kylie would absolutely give her vegan dreams up without the least bit of hesitation.


	24. Chapter 24

**Happy Fathers' Day! Here's a special themed chapt. Enjoy. **

Chapter 24

(Kylie's POV)

"And then I hired One Direction to sing for my dad!" Ashley summed up. "Oh yeah, well, I hired Justin Bieber _and _The Black Eyed Peas to sing for my dad." Sally challenged.

"Oh please the Black Eyed Peas are so last year," Ashley smirked directly at me and shouted, "and Justin Bieber is a huge fag like _somebody's _dad!"

I flipped her off when the teacher wasn't looking and continued to color in the flowers on my card. Of course the bitch had the nerve to grab the blue crayon right from my hand.

"Dafaq is you problem!" I shouted, "We're not in preK anymore." Ashley ignored me and picked up the card and read it allowed, "Roses are red, Violets are Blue, You're a Daddy now, And I love you...That is the gayest thing I have ever read." She laughed, "Even gayer than both your parents put together. If I gave that shitty thing to my father, he'd beat the crap out of me, like a real man would."

"FYI, that' not even for my Dad, it's for my brother." I said and stuck my tongue out at her. Of course, if I told her that I used up all my allowance on Dad's card, and had to hand make Theo's card, I wouldn't feel so confident.

"Oh right that nerd got that slut pregnant and now there's gonna be another generation of losers." Ashley said. She ripped the card in half, and threw it into my face, and walked away, laughing. "Awe, what's the matter, little princess gonna cry?" Sally said mockingly and slapped her bitchy companion high five for successfully making me feel like poo.

* * *

I brushed Pony's mane as I cried. "Sometimes I think you're my only friend in the world." I sobbed.

"That's not entirely true." a voice said. I looked up and suddenly felt happy again "THEO!" I ran to him and gave my brother a big hug.

"I got your card." He held up the taped together piece of crap, "A bit cliché, but the use of primary colors were great...Oh, and then there's the most important part." Theo put a hand to my heart, "It came from there." I giggled.

"Sorry, it's ripped...And not Hallmark. You see, I spent all of my allowance on Dad's card, and then when I was making it, that horrible bitch Ash-" Theo put a finger to my lips, "I wouldn't have it any other way. Now come on, let's go help Mom cook."

I followed Theo inside and suddenly realized that he had used the words Mom and cook in the same sentence. My brother seemed to read my mind and laughed, "You don't expect Dad to do the cooking on _Fathers' Day_? So we should definitely help if we want to have a happy meal tonight. And you still have to give Dad your card, don't you?"

Believe it or not, Dad was jealous of Theo's card. "But, I spent all my allowance on your card, and it has a funny elephant on it with big ol' google eyes." I pointed out. "But, Theo's card came from...Goddamn it, Kahl, I can't take it, it's Fathers' Day, stop treating me like a fucking puppet!" Dad shouted.

"Huh?" I looked up to see Mom holding up cue cards, reading, '_But Theo's card came from your love and imagination, no one can put a price on that, honey.' _

"He wants me to teach you a lesson. But the truth is Theo's card sucks ass, and the elephant is really funny, worth every penny. I love it." Dad gave me a hug as he flipped Mom off.

Then we all smelled smoke. "Oh shit! The food!" Mom cried and ran back into the kitchen. We all laughed. "Happy Fathers' Day." I said to both Dad and Theo. Dad grinned, "Thanks, sweetie." "Likewise." Theo said and gave me yet another hug.

Then Dad pulled out his phone and dialed the number of the local pizza place.


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry for the wait everyone. I spent the past week in Alabama competing in the National Junior Forensics League! I made it to quarterfinals with an original oratory and was ranked amongst the top 24 middle schoolers in the nation! Unfortunately they don't give trophies for 24th place and I lacked the internet and free time to update. Anyway, here's the next chapter with some unexpected and random twists. **

Chapter 25

(Eric's POV)

All in all, it would a pretty good evening. I think the pizza had something to do with that. Kylie later thanked me when she found out that Kyle was planning on making steamed chicken (at this point we were all taking bets on how long her vegetarian life style would last).

Shortly after dinner, the twins fell asleep, so Theo and Melanie took them home. "Still so fucked up that he has a family now, don't think I'll ever be used to it." Kyle muttered.

He sighed, "Well, I'm gonna go put Kylie to bed, and then we can have little adult fun." "Oooh, can't wait! Meet you back in the bedroom for some roleplaying." I said with a wink.

However, I was distracted on my way there by a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen...I could've sworn they weren't there before. Oh well, I couldn't resist, so I grabbed one and took a bite.

* * *

(Theo's POV)

As I got in the car to head back to our apartment, I realized that I left the rabbit cookies at Mom and Dad's house (I wasn't really sure why I brought them over in the first place).

"Shoot! Mel, we have to go back, I left-" I turned to the passenger seat to find that Melanie was sleeping sounder than the babies. Maybe I would drop them off in their bed and crib first.

I mean, what could happen, I'm sure Mom and Kylie warned Dad. If only I knew better...

* * *

(Eric's POV)

In a blink of an eye, I was on the floor, going through some sort of painful transformation. When I opened my eyes, the room seemed oddly gigantic. The table where I had gotten the cookie from was miles high, it seemed more like the size of a two story building than a normal table.

My ears perked up when I heard footsteps coming in the distance, each one sounding three times louder than normal. I reached up to cover my ears, but was shocked to find fluffy white paws in the place of my hands!

"Dafaq is happening to me?!" I tried to shout, but my voice came out as small squeaks. Had I become some sort of rodent? I licked my front teeth and discovered that they had doubled in size. Yup, definetely some kind of fluffy creature.

Let's see, although I was small I wasn't small enough to be a hamster, rat, or mouse. That left...chipmunk, or rabbit...I tried to think back to that report Theo wrote about rodents in his freshmen year and had wanted me to proofread.

'_Give it to Kyle,' I had said, 'I really don't give a rat's ass.' And if I had been nice, I would've told him the truth; that I couldn't understand it because I was a total dumbass and any changes I made would lower his flawless chance of getting an A_.

I sighed as I began to pray that this was all some horrible nightmare. Yeah, that was it, maybe I had some milk with that cookie. Milk and cookies almost always put me to sleep. I was probably asleep at the kitchen table and at any second Kyle would-

"Eric?" Again, the voice seemed at least three times louder than normal, but I would still recognize it anywhere regardless of how loud or soft it became. "Is everything alright, honey? We heard a noise."

My nose suddenly wiggled as I smelled two separate, but distinct scents. They were mostly combinations of shampoos, toothpastes, deodorants, and other toiletries, but something seemed to completely differentiate them. Something I couldn't really put my finger on-Oh wait, I don't have fingers anymore.

A few more sniffs around the room and I realized that every object had an individual smell, but the two from before were just the strongest. Maybe it was because they were alive.

Kylie approached me first, she came running, and before I could react to her size and actions, she picked me up and cradled me in her arms. "Awe, aren't you just the sweetest little thing I have ever seen!" She cooed and pinched my cheek. I flinched and tried to jump out of her tight grip.

"Kylie, put it down!" Kyle said sternly. He approached me next, well, technically, he approached Kylie. "It could have rabies, and can't you tell by the way its squirming that it doesn't want to be held."

"Don't be silly, Mr. Fuzzy Doodles loves me! Don't you, baby?" Kylie pulled me closer to her chest as I continued struggling to free myself.

Kyle sighed, "Sweetie, you know when you name it, you're gonna want to keep it." "Oooh, yay! We're gonna keep him!" Kylie cried. "No, I never said that. We're already running a zoo as it is with Pony and Rover, I don't think we need a rabbit." Kyle pointed out.

Well, that answered that question. Now I just needed to get Kylie to put me down, and find a way to return to normal.

"Besides, you remember what happened to the class hamster you brought home for the weekend." Kyle stated.

I suddenly stopped trying to break free from Kylie's grip as I remember, the funny at the time, but now horrific, memory.

_'Mom, Dad, check it out! It's my turn to watch over the class hamster, Gigi, for the weekend!' Kylie announced as she held up the cage with the grey fluff ball inside. She set the cage down and opened it. _

_'I'm sure she and Rover will be great friends!' Kylie picked Gigi up and put her right beneath Rover's muzzle. _

_'I don't think that's a good idea, sweetie.' Kyle said. 'No, let her learn the hard way it'll be hilarious.' I chuckled. _

_After taking a single sniff of the hamster, Rover had it in his mouth. All we could hear was my laughter and Kylie's shrieks as the dog coffed up blood and fur. _

Now, of course, I regret laughing...especially since we had to pay for a replacement hamster...but that was beyound the point. I could have the same fate as that fucking pet, and I wouldn't be able to watch and laugh.

"But I think Rover learned his lesson. He got a really bad tummy ache, remember, we had to take him to the vet?" Kylie pointed out.

"All right, we'll keep him for one night, OK. But I'm not feeding him, or cleaning up any blood, fur, or poop...Oh, and I'll have to check with your dad first." Kyle said.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! I'd give you a hug, but I'm holding Mr. Fuzzy Doodles." Kylie said and she ran off with me.

**Stay tuned for more fluffy adventures and hairy problems, LOL. Bet you weren't expecting the rabbit cookies to do that! **


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

(Eric's POV)

"Oh, Kahl, I had the most fucked up dream." I moaned sleepily. It wasn't until my nose wiggled in order to take in the surrounding smells that I realized that my voice came out as squeaks.

The red hair that surrounded me was a bit too long for what I was used to. "Kylie?" I tried to call, but, again, my voice came out as a squeak.

She opened her eyes and glanced up at me with a grin, "'Morning Mr. Fuzzy Doodles."

Oh my God! This was so fucked up. I was curled up in Kylie's hair...in her bed. I was in bed with her. I was in bed with Kylie. I was in bed with-

"Why don't you wait here while I get ready. Then we'll have breakfast." Kylie said as she got up. I wondered if she realized that what we just did could get me in jail and registered as a pedophile if taken in the wrong context.

I purposely shut my eyes as Kylie began to open her closet door. "I can't wait for you to meet Rover and Pony. We're all gonna have a tea party with Barbie later." She said, "But first I have a special surprise for you."

I swear if she tried to dress me up in a stupid pink hat and matching dress, I would..Well, let's see, I couldn't do much because in the end Kylie was still my daughter, and I didn't have opposable thumbs.

"Alright, Mr. Fuzzy Doodles, I'm ready." Kylie picked me up as I opened my eyes to see her. She now had on jeans, a bright red T-shirt with sparkles that scratched up against my skin-fur, rather, and her ginger hair was now neatly tied back in two braids.

As Kylie carried me downstairs, I heard the sound of sobs coming from Kyle's room. My poor Jew. Normally I would kill whoever made him cry like that, but I knew that this time (like a lot of times in the past), he was crying because of me. Kyle was crying because I didn't come home last night.

Luckily, Kylie's ears weren't as sensitive as mine, so she didn't hear him. She just kept on walking, and I gave up trying to free myself from her arms. We passed a mirror on our way to the kitchen, and I finally got to see a quick glance of myself in this messed up form. The only thing recognizable were my eyes. The rest was just white fluff, big floppy ears, and a twitching pink nose with whiskers.

Finally, Kylie put me down. "You ready for your surprise?" She asked. Like most normal rabbits would, I just stared up at her blankly. Of course, Kylie took that as yes.

She put down a bowl full of carrots and celery. "Surprise breakfast! Now I'm not the only vegetarian in the house?!" Kylie cried.

Ew, vegetables. When the hell will this nightmare end? Well, I guess it was this or nothing...Unless I could get another bite of the cookie that did this to me. Maybe it could change me back.

"Well, go on, little bunny, eat it!" Kylie said encouraging me to take a bite, as she tooka spoonful of Lucky Charms. I could go for those little marshmallows right about now. I closed my eyes and imagined that the vegetables were the marshmallows and reluctantly took a bite.

Holy crap, they tasted like chocolate chip cookies! Dafaq! They tasted more like cookies than those breakfast cereals made to taste like cookies. I suddenly found myself licking the bowl clean.

"I thought you'd like that, Mr. Fuzzy Doodles. Now, come on, let's go meet Rover and Pony and Barbie and have that tea party." Kylie said and she picked me up again.

The next thing I know, I'm in the backyard sitting at a miniature (well now normal sized) table with a tea set, my little bunny heart pounding, as I waited for Rove. To finish his dog food so he can come and eat me for dessert. Kylie had placed a barbie doll at the end of the table and said that the last seat was for Pony when she woke up. This was really beginning to remind me of Alice in Wonderland. All we needed was a little mouse that could barely stay awake.

Rover soon came running over to greet us. "Hi, my name's Rover, and Master Kylie's a great owner!" Wait a minute, did he just talk? I was too shocked to respond as Rover began to sniff my ass. That I expected, but talking. It was official, I had gone down the rabbit hole.

As Kylie introduced us-"Rover, this is Mr. Fuzzy Doodles, Mr. Fuzzy Doodles, this is Rover."-Rover hopped away from me and pointed out his right paw, his tail standing straight up, his eyes fixed on me. But his eyes weren't filled with hunger and anger like they were right before he ate the hamster, no, this time were filled with shock, fear, and respect.

"Y-you're not gonna eat me, are you?" I asked, and although my voice came out as squeaks again, I could somehow tell that Rover understood me.

He lay down, so he was at my eye level, "Are you not Master Eric? You smell just like him." "I am actually." I said, "I'm not sure how this happened to me, though, I just took a bite of this cookie and-"

"You mean the cookies that Master Theo brought over?" Rover asked. "I guess so," I said, "Wait a minute, did you say Theo?"

Maybe Theo's sciencey shit had something to do with this. If there was some way I could contact him then he could return me to normal. My phone was currently on my dresser, too high for reach, and texting him would impossible without fingers, and calling him was completely out of the questions considering he wouldn't understand a word I said.

"Rover, are you gonna help me get back to normal or not!" I shouted at the dog who was distracted by smelling a daisy. "Oh, sorry, Master Eric." He glanced back at me appologetically, "I just love the smell of daisies in morning and I can get easily distracted by-"

An acorn suddenly fell from a tree and onto Rover's head. We looked up to see a squirrel sticking its tongue out at him. "Take that you pathetic mutt!" He squeaked. "So we meet again...Squirrel." Rover growled. He barked viciously as he tried to get up the tree.

I was probably the first rabbit to ever face palm. It looked like Rover wouldn't be much help. So much for at least one person being able to understand me, evne if he wasn't exactly a person.

"Oh look, here comes Pony!" Kylie said. I looked up in time to see the cream pony (scratch that, pigicorn, I'll never get used to his true form, and glad he never uses it) trotting towards us.

"You came just in time for the tea party and to meet Mr. Fuzzy Doodles." Kylie said. "Oh boy, I love tea parties and new friends!" Huh, pretty high pitched voice for a male horse. Maybe it was just the part unicorn coming out.

I actually never really thought about Pony's sexuality, Kylie referred to him as a 'he', so I went with that. But now as I looked up at Pony I realized that he lacked the proper lower body part to be a male. I also realized that we were all naked.

"Hello, Mr. Fuzzy Doodles. My name is Pony." He/She/It held out a hoove as if asking me to shake it. Of course Pony ended up shaking me because he was so much bigger than me.

"Now, please don't judge me. I have some secrets I have to tell you." Pony said, "First of all, I'm not really a boy, I had to go undercover to protect my masters. Second, I'm not actually a horse, I'm a pigicorn, have flying pig half unicorn. You see the government is looking for a little girl, *cough Kylie*, with a female pigicorn, *cough me*."

"Awe, Pony, are you sick, you're coughing." Kylie said as she rubbed the horse's muzzle. "Can I have an apple?" Pony asked. Of course, Kylie didn't understand and offered her soe tea instead, "It's great for a sore throat."

Pony turned back to me, "So what's your story? Are you a funny bunny, just cute and fluffy, a war hero, lonely and depressed?"

"He's secretly Master Eric and was transformed by Master Theo's magical cookies." Rover said. Then he turned to Kylie, "Do you think she'll scratch my tummy today? Because I'm always up for a good tummy scratch, sometimes I think it's better than those little doggy treats."

"Well, if you flip over and whimper then maybe Master Kylie will-Wait what did you say?" Pony cried. Delayed reaction, much, no wonder we're on top on the food chain!

"Is this true Mr. Fuzzy Doodles, are you really, Master Eric?" Pony asked. "Yes." I said, "And I need to change back as soon as possible."

As Rover flipped over, he looked confused, "Why would you want to do that? Being an animal is amazing you're so alive and free." Pony nodded, "And you don't have to use eating utensils or napkins."

"Yeah all that sounds great if you give up thumbs and throw in the chance of getting whipped, beaten, and or eaten." I said.

"But that won't happen when Master Kyle and Master Kylie are your owners." Pony pointed out.

"And they need me," I stated, "Do you hear that sound coming from the house?" "From Master Kyle's room?" Rover asked. "It sounds like he's crying." Pony said.

"Exactly." I said, "He's crying because of _me_." "Aww, he misses his mate." Pony sighed, "No wonder you want to get back."

I nodded, "If you guys help me, then I promise the first thing I'll do when I'm back to normal is drive out the store buy a shitload of little doggy treats and apples and give you all that you want, and then," I turned to Rover, "I'll scratch your belly until you go into a frenzy. Just please, I'm begging you both help me get back to normal. Now are you with me?"

I put my paw in between them. "I'm in." Pony said and placed her hoof above my paw. "So am I." Rover said and finally placed his paw on top.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

(Eric's POV)

"So what's the plan?" Rover asked. "Um..." I thought for a moment. What was my plan? Get back to normal, of course. But how?

"You don't have a plan?" Pony asked. "We've got to contact Theo." I finally announced. "How? We can't understand each other." she said. "Each other?" I echoed. I thought the problem was that we could understand him, but he couldn't understand us.

"Yeah, we try to talk to them, they get it completely wrong. They try to talk to us, and all we hear are annoying barking sounds." Rover said. "Barking? No, it's more like a.." Pony let out a loud, "Neigh!"

"No, those are the sounds you guys make." I said, "And how come I understand them?" Rover tilted his head to the side, which I guess counted as a shrug.

I still heard the sobs coming from Kyle's room, but now I heard him softly talking to someone. "He would never do that to me." he said, "I generally think he's in trouble." I strained to hear the voice on the other end of the phone, "I dunno, Ky," Stan chuckled, "Eric's a _big_ boy. He can take care of himself."

"Asshole." I muttered. Then I sighed, "Don't worry, Kahl, I'll be back soon." And barely managed to hold back tears of my own.

_Ding-Dong! _The doorbell interrupted my thoughts. Rover sat straight up and his eyes grew wide. "It's the door! It's the door! I'm so excited! I'm gonna run around the house for no reason!" And in a flash he was gone.

I followed him through the doggy door in time to see Kyle open the front door. It was Theo, Melanie, and the twins! Perfect.

We heard some barking as Rover came running over to jump on the guests and cover them with licks. "Master Theo and his family! YAAAY!"

Theo glanced around, "Where's Dad?" "Oh, Theo, it's awful...he's-he's...disappeared." Kyle cried into his shoulder as if Theo was his parent and not reverse. "It's gonna be OK...Let's go in the other room we have to talk."

(Kyle's POV)

"I can't believe I just slobbered like a baby in front of you." I mumbled. "It's cool, dude, I understand." Theo said, "But I think I know what happened to him."

My heart skipped a beat. "You do?" I asked. Theo nodded, "I left the rabbit cookies here last night." Now my heart could have just split in half. "WHAT?!" I shouted.

"Calm down. I think I can undo whatever happened to him." Theo assured me. "So..." I was scared to ask, "What happened to him?"

"I told you the side effects can range from-" "I don't care just fucking tell me!" I didn't mean to raise my voice, but it just came out with more tears. I couldn't help it. I needed Eric back.

Theo took a seat on my bed and gestured for me to do the same. "With the news of him disappearing, I'm beginning to think outside of the box." "Outside of the box?" I echoed.

"Yeah, like they could've made Dad invisible." Theo clarified. "No, he would've said something, or tapped me on the shoulder, or something that would reveal himself to me." I said. "What if he's trying, but just can't reach you. Maybe he's a dimension away." Theo said.

"You sent Eric to another dimension!" I cried. What the hell was this the Twilight Zone. Goddamn it, if Theo was right, he might as well be dead. I've seen horror movies; it's one way, no coming back.

"Shhh! He's gonna be fine, I promise. All we have to do is find a way into that dimension, find Dad and pull ourselves out." Theo said in an attempt to be soothing. I pulled away from his embrace, "How the hell are we gonna do that!"

"One of us is gonna stay back and use my lab equipment to help pull you back." Theo explained. "Well, then why does one of us have to go? Can't we just pull Eric back with the equipment?" I asked. "Dad might not be able to signal us without help. We can't pull him back if we don't know where he is."

At that moment I knew exactly what I had to do. "If we don't make it back, take care of Kylie for us. I love you, Theo, you're the smartest man I know and you're gonna continue doing great things." I pulled my son into a tearful tight hug.

I heard Theo calling after me, but I ignored him and headed straight for the kitchen. Theo's appalled cries telling me not to and some horrified barks and squeaks from Rover and Mr. Fluffy Doodle or whatever Kylie called him were rendered useless when I took a bite of one of the rabbit cookies. It already had a bite taken out of it and was still damp from Eric's saliva.

Little did I know that Theo had forgot to carry a one because what he thought was a different dimension, meant different species all together.

**Dun, dun, dun! Now it's all up to Theo. Stay tuned for more fluffy bunnies and stuff. **


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

(Eric's POV)

Was Kyle out of his fucking mind? He was completely ignoring my squeaks, Rover's barks, and Theo's shouts as he picked up a cookie.

"Do something!" I demanded of Rover. "Like what?" He asked. "Bite him!" I shouted. "Oh, no, the last dog I knew to have bitten a human was put down." Rover stated. "But it's for his own good." I insisted. Rover shook his head.

Time was running out. If this mutt wasn't going to bite Kyle, _I _was going to have to be the one to do it. I approached his leg. "I'm really sorry about this, babe." Then I remembered that most of the time he enjoyed the pain when it came from me and suddenly I didn't feel bad anymore.

But I was too late, in a flash too quick for both the human and the rabbit eye to see, Kyle was gone, all we heard was his scream. Huh. I remember the transformation going on for an agonizingly long amount of time.

Now I was staring at a fluffy auburn rabbit, a little smaller than me, with familiar, bright, emerald green eyes struck with terror.

"Hello, I'm Rover!" I hopped between him and Kyle. "Paws off!" I shouted. "But I was just going to smell his butt." Rover whimpered. "Exactly." I hissed and put a paw defensively around Kyle.

"That's dogs' way of shaking hands, dumb ass, it doesn't mean anything...And can someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Kyle said. "The cookies blasted us into bunnies." I explained, "Goddamn it, Rover, don't!"

"I knew it! You're Master Kyle." Rover said after taking a whiff much to my dismay. "Yes, I am, and apparently you can talk now." Kyle said still in a bit of shock. I didn't blame him.

"IF I'M NEEDED I'LL BE IN MY LAB!" Theo shouted at the top of his lungs. "Wait, baby, we're down here, not in another dimension!" Kyle called after him, and yet I could tell that all Theo could hear were squeaks.

He turned back to me, "I'm guessing that's been happening to you all day." I nodded sadly. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry, if I had known that you were-" "There was no way you could've known. Now we have to go after Theo, so he can change us back."

As we walked through the doggy door, Kyle began to explain Theo's wild theories about other dimensions to me and where he could have gone wrong.

"Slow down, you mean they're fucking called rabbit cookies, obvious much!" I cried. He chuckled, "It was meant to promote the diet of a rabbit, you know fruits and vegetables, healthy stuff that fat asses like you wouldn't ever eat."

"Fuck you, Kahl, I probably only weigh ten pounds right now!" I shouted. "Yeah, well I probably only weigh seven." He shot back. "The extra three pounds obviously comes from my fluff."

Instead of flinging back another insult, much to my surprise, Kyle put his paws around me and attempted to hug me. "I missed you so much, Eric." He whispered.

"Hehe, look who's back for more!" An obnoxious voice from a tree laughed. "Excuse me, I have some unfinished business to do." Rover said as started to growl aggressively at the squirrel.

"Should I ask." Kyle said as he pulled away from me. "No, come on, we've got to get to Theo's lab." I said and left Rover to try to climb that tree to get to the squirrel.

"So how was life with Kylie this morning?" Kyle asked. "Believe it or not, she's actually a pretty good owner." I replied. He chuckled, "You enjoyed the tea parties, I assume?" "No, but Rover and Pony did, and that's what matters, right?"

My ears perked up when I heard the treads of a tire hitting the street. "Car's coming, get to the sidewalk." I warned. We hopped to the sidewalk when an old navy blue van pulled up to the curb. But it wasn't just any old van, it had the words Animal Control written in big white letters.

"Oh shit!" I cried. The door of the van swung open as Kyle and I hid behind a mailbox. The last thing I heard was the man's boot hit The ground as he stepped out of the van and shot a tranquilizer right into my neck.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"Eric!" I cried as I dodged the next tranquilizer that the man shot at me. I don't know what came over me, but suddenly I find myself charging at the man, and able to tackle him down and beat the living crap out of him. You think that's weird, what weird is that I had my eyes shut the entire time.

I pulled away the minute I realized what I was doing. The man was on the floor unconscious and there was blood, lots of blood, but he was breathing, and had a pulse.

Dude...What the hell? It was like I had been taken over by an evil spirit or something. I couldn't even do something like this when I was myself, so you can imagine that doing this as an adorable bunny left me even more baffled.

My heavy breathing made the soft moans coming from beside me almost inaudible. I told myself that Eric would be OK because it was just a tranquilizer. He would probably be up in an hour or so.

Using my mouth, since my paws were useless for the task, I carefully removed the dart from Eric's neck and kissed it.

"But Maaaaaaam, I don't wanna go to scheeewwwl." Eric groaned. I laughed as I tried to solve the dilemma of how to get him to Theo's lab.

"I hate those darn squirrels." Rover grumbled as he approached us. Then he whimpered when he saw Eric, "What happened?"

I summed it up in two words, "Animal Control." "NO!" Rover cried. I nodded, "He'll be OK, though it was just a tranquilizer, nothing deadly." I found myself letting out a sigh of relief as I stated this.

"No, Kitteh, that's a bad Mr. Kitteh!" Eric shouted. "I think it's actually bringing out childhood memories." I mumbled and couldn't fight the smile my lips were starting to form. "You've gotta admit he's cute."

"Hey, guys, need a ride to Theo's lab?" Pony suddenly approached us. I found myself in awe at his high pitched tone. Then he gasped when he saw Eric, "Oh my goodness! Master Eric, are you alright?"

"Sorry, Wendy," Eric slurred, "there's someone else." "Um..I'm not Wendy." Pony said. "We'll explain on the way, just take us to Theo's lab." I said.

* * *

"Wow, Kylie's right, this _is _magical!" I sighed as I looked down from Pony's back. "Goddamn it, Wendy, I'm GAY!" Eric shouted.

"You've gotta give it to Wendy, that bitch is persistent." Rover muttered. "When, you say bitch, what exactly do you mean?" I asked. "Female, what else would I mean?" Rover clarified.

I nodded, trying to get used to the fact that whenever Rover said bitch he didn't mean it as an insult. It explained why he never growled whenever Eric called my mom a bitch...Or maybe he just couldn't understand what Eric was saying.

"It's Kyle, I'm gay for Kyle." Eric stated. "Yeah, he's taken, Wendy, so fuck off back to Stan like the slut you are." I said more to myself than anyone else, but of course with their sensitive animal ears, Rover and Pony heard.

"Wendy's not here, it's all in Master Eric's head." Pony said. "I know," I sighed, "And I think I know the exact memory he keeps replaying in his mind."

As Pony landed in front of Theo's lab, Eric conveniently snapped out of his trance. His eyes fluttered opened and he smiled at me, but only for a moment because he decided to bunny hump me.

"Man, that random auburn bunny is gonna be pissed off when it finds out he has a mate." Pony whispered as I realized that I forgot to tell him who I really was.

* * *

Sneaking into Theo's lab was pretty easy since the windows were wide open. The hard part would be getting Theo's attention when he was expecting something a little more supernatural than two fluffy rabbits.

Luckily, Theo turned and smiled at us and nodded in recognition. Then his face grew serious, "I'm sorry this had to happen, but I promise I will reverse it right now."

"How'd he know it was us?" Eric whispered. "Dunno. Our eyes might've given it away." I replied.

Theo took out the headphones he was wearing, "Like 'em? Just invented them an hour ago for the occasion. Plug them in and you can read people's thoughts."

Damn that kid is smart, or as Eric would say too smart for his own good which I guess was proved by this experience.

"So, to answer your question, your thoughts gave you away." Theo explained, "Now, hold still, this might sting a little, but it'll change you back." He attached us to some wires and flipped a switch.


	30. Chapter 30

**Hi everyone, I know it's been a while, but if you'd please leave a review, I'd be thankful.**

Chapter 30

"Eric, are you coming or not?" I shouted. "I told you, Kahl, I'm busy." Eric called back. I groaned. By the time he was ready, I'll be sleeping. In fact I was pretty tired. Being transformed into a bunny and back wore the shit out of me. I wondered what Eric was up to.

(Eric's POV)

Yeah, I know, I should be with Kyle, but a promise is a promise, so I was stuck with Rover and Pony, feeding them apples and doggy treats, and scratching their bellies like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

(Kyle's POV)

I was having a dream about dreidels, spaghetti with meatballs, and the singing nuns from _Sound of Music-_And yet, this still didn't top my top ten weirdest dreams. So right when the nuns were starting their second verse, I was shaken awake.

"What's going-AAA!" When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a gun being held to my face.

"You're under arrest, so shut up!" I heard Eric's voice shout, but I was too stunned to react. His rough tone truly scared me, "Now listen to me, bitch, you're in my world now, so if you ever want to see the light of day again, you-"

As I was screaming my ass off, the door opened and the lights blasted on. "Are you insane, you have to read the Miranda R-Ooooh, it's not a real arrest, is it." Theo blushed as both he and I realized what Eric's motive was.

"Pineapple!" I cried, which was our safe word. "Well, no shit, he completely ruined the mood." Eric said, "Nice, scream by the way, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were actually scared."

"I'm really, sorry." Theo said, "Can't we just call it even because you walked in on me and Melanie that time?"

Eric sighed, "I need a vacation. Far away from science, and fluffy animals, and the color pink." "VACATION?!" Kylie came running.

"Well, the fourth of July's coming up, maybe we could go away." I said. "Oooh, can we go the Hello Kitty Factory in Tokyo!" Kylie said. "Sweetie, the point of Independence Day is to celebrate our country's birth, so we should stay in the country...Or at least the continent." I pointed out.

"And if you say Disney World I'll slap you." Eric said. That ironically earned him a slap from me. "What the hell was that for? I told you I wanna stay far away from science, fluffy animals, and the color pink, and Disney World has all three of those things."

"I'd say Vegas, but Kylie would be bored to the bone there...And that might involve fluffy animals." I said. "Vegas? Now _that's _a good idea!" Eric said.

"I dunno, I really don't want to expose the twins to all that until they're at least three or four." Theo said.

"Hey, guys, sorry, I was eavesdropping." Melanie walked in, "I have the best vacation idea. NYC. It's perfect, you get all the flashing lights that you do in Vegas, but without all the strippers, and there's plenty of toy stores and candy stores for the kids."

"We might have to skip the candy and toy stores because they have the color pink and fluffy animals, but other than that I think New York sounds great!" I said.

Eric shrugged, "They have that piano you can walk on and fucking candy, I'll be fine." "All righty, then! New York City, here we come!" I shouted.

**Stay tuned for lots of fun in the Big Apple! **


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Eric was pissed when he heard we were going to see a broadway play about a ginger, but Kylie practically begged to see that creepily happy orphan sing and dance, so I couldn't say no.

We left the pets with Kenny and Butters. Although I didn't particularly think Kenny was fit for the job, I'm sure Butters would be a great help.

"Rover loves tummy scratches, Pony likes it when you brush her mane, and Sloppy Kisses just wants to be hugged." I summed up, "Please don't upset them, or ignore them, or abuse them, or-." "-Chill, Ky, we'll only be watching them for three days." Kenny pointed out.

My reply was inaudible over Eric's beeping of the car horn. "Come on, Kahl, we're gonna miss our flight!" "All right, all right. I'm coming!" I called.

I turned back to the blonde couple, "Take care of them, OK, they're people, too." "We will. Have fun while you're away and don't forget to say hi to Lady Liberty for me." Butters said. As he leaned in to hug me, I was abruptly pulled back into the car.

"I'll give him the hug for you!" Eric shouted as he closed the car door. He flipped them of and then put his foot to the accelerator.

* * *

For those of you who have never been to an airport, here's some advice, don't walk up to the security guard and say, "Hi, I'm not a terrorist." All I can say is: Smooth, Kylie, real smooth.

"That's great kid, no shut up and go through the scanner or else I'll have to pat you down." The guard replied. "Can going through the scanners give you super powers?" Kylie asked. "No."

I could tell he was losing his temper, so I tried to push her along. "Aw, man! I wanted super powers. What's the point of these things. All they do is look for bombs!" Kylie grumbled.

"BOMBS?" Five more security guards came running towards us. One with a bushy mustache came forward, "Everyone remain calm! I'm just going to pat her down and ask her a few questions."

So, while the rest of us were going through security, Kylie was taken into a separate room that Eric and I were able to see through a window when we were done.

"I think he's just questioning her...We probably missed the pat downs, I hope they weren't too extreme." Eric said. I nodded and watched silently wondering what he was asking her. As pong as she didn't say anything about Pony, we'd be fine.

"Can you believe this?" Eric cried. I noticed that he was no longer watching Kylie but his eyes were on a man with a turban who had just walked through security without any problems. I rolled my eyes, "Don't be racist."

When I turned back to the window I gasped, Kylie now had a pair of scissors in her hands. "Dafaq!" we cried. The bushy mustache guy seemed pretty calm, so I guess I knew what he was doing, although this was Kylie's first time not handling safety scissors.

"Oh my God, she's going for his head!" I watched in horror as she approached his head with the scissors. I closed my eyes and refused to watch...That was until I heard Eric laughing.

"What the hell's going on?" I asked, still afraid to open my eyes. "He flinched and she got the mustache instead of his head." Eric explained. "You mean she chopped his mustache off?" "Better! She gave him a Hitler."

OK, now I opened my eyes, I had to see this. As I did, the door opened and Kylie came out with the officer...who's bushy mustache was now replaced with a Hitler mustache, but believe it or not he had a huge grin on his face.

"Some girl you have here. Have fun in New York." He said. "We will. Bye Mr. Mustache Dude! Hope you like the new style." Kylie said happily as we watched him walk away.

"Um...Kylie...What the hell just happened?" I asked over Eric's laughter. "Well, first he just used one of those beepy metal detecters to pat me down. Then he asked me some questions like my birth date and place, if I've ever been out of the country, and then he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said I was deciding between dancer, vet, and hair stylist. And then he said that even a ten year old kid like me could give him a better haircut than his barber gave him, so he gave me scissors and told me to give him a haircut, but he backed out last minute, and I accidentally got some of his mustache, but he was still pretty pleased." Kylie explained.

"Did he look in the mirror yet?" I asked. "No, but I thought he was pretty pleased. He said he hated that mustache and it always itched him, so he was happy to get rid of it." Kylie said. "But you missed a spot." Eric chuckled.

"This isn't funny!" I said. "Yeah, I think he looks great. Nobody has that mustache style, he could start a trend." Kylie said. "NO!" I shouted. "Why not? The girl has a point." As Eric said this he literally fell on the floor laughing. I sighed, "Sweetie, there's a reason nobody has that mustache."

**Kylie at the airport? Kylie as a barber? Tell me what ya think. **


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey, I know it's been a while. Sorry, I started a new project, but I haven't forgotten about this! Also, I decided I'll end this pretty soon and start up yet another continuation called And On, tell me what you think. R&R **

Chapter 32

Not too shortly after the flight, we arrived at the hotel. Theo and Melanie went ot their room to put the twins down for their nap as we went to check out our room. We would head out to dinner in an hour.

"It's not too bad of a room...espcially considering the low price we paid." I said and hopped onto the bed nearest the window. I glanced up at Eric, "Aren't you gonna say something antisemetic?"

Eric shrugged, "I'm on vacation...Besides, I've given up on the insults if you haven't noticed." "Huh," As I thought about it, I realized it was true, "Guess I was enjoying the break so much that I didn't even noticed...Thank you, baby."

"Oooh, yeah! A fluffy bed!" Kylie came running into the room and started to jump on the other bed.

"So, Ky," I took a seat on her bed, "Where do you want to eat tonight? We could get pizza at Little Italy, or Chinese food at China Town, or-"

"Or we could go to the M&M store or the Hershey store and just have candy for dinner!" Kylie interjected. "That's my girl!" Eric slapped her five.

I sighed, "I spotted a grocery store down the street, I'll get a salad 'cause you know I can eat all that sugar without going into a coma."

Of course, they weren't listening to me, they were googling the nearest candy stores on Eric's phone.

"I'll check up on Theo." I mumbled and headed out. The minute I walked into the neighboring room, I was shushed by Theo and Melanie. "We just put them down for a nap." Melanie whispered gesturing to the sleeping twins.

"Little angels, aren't they?" Theo said. "I could watch them sleeping like that all day." I replied. I really could. They were just so cute. What the hell happened-How on earth did Theo and Kylie grow up so fast?

"So, what's up?" Theo said casually. "Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted me to get you a salad from the grocery store down the street because your dad and sister want to go to the M&M store for dinner."

Theo chuckled, "Sounds like a plan. And can you also get some baby food because the twins obviously can't eat that." "Of course. I'll head out right now." I took a quick glance back at the sleeping twins and sighed before leaving.

* * *

Now I knew I was going mad. The picture on the can of baby food looked exactly like Theo-That is Theo as of nineteen years ago. Toothless, sweet, baby Theodore.

I blinked several times before noticing the baby picture on a different can. Kylie! The tiny little girl from nine years ago. Down the line of cans, I went, only to be greeted by Kylie, Theo, Theo Kylie-They were on every single one!

I suddenly felt lightheaded-The world started to spin around me until it faded into darkness.

* * *

"He'll be OK, we don't even need to hospitalize him, the insulin worked its magic, and you have your son to thank for that." A voice said. "Thank you." Eric replied.

"W-what's going on?" I murmured as I slowly willed my eyes opened. "Everything's fine," Eric said, "we're already getting your dad to sue the pretzel company-Get this, they also make powdered doughnuts and somehow some of that powdered sugar got into the pretzels you ate on the plane."

"I'm guessing someone got my insulin to me in time." I sat up and soon realized I was back at the hotel. "Yeah, that was Theo, kid's like Sherlock Holmes, somehow figured everything out and got the remedy to you just in time." Eric explained. I nodded, "Remind me to thank him."

"They all went to the M&M store. If you're up to it, we can go there later, so you can thank him, but we should get a nutritious meal into your system first." Eric said.

"All right," I said, "Did anyone manage to get those salads after all?" "Yup, you can thank Theo for that, too." Eric handed me the box and a fork.

I instantly felt better after eating a few bites. "You know, you seem pretty calm considering what just happened." Eric shrugged, "Theo and the paramedic said it was no big deal and you'd be back on your feet in a few minutes, so I believed them."

"Well, I'm glad, I didn't want anything stupid like this to ruin our vacation." I said as I finished my salad.

"Feel better?" Eric asked. "Much. You wanna go to the M&M store now?" I said. "Sure. Let's go."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

After I thanked him, Theo and I watched the twins while the others went candy crazy. I had Jane on my lap, and he had Peter on his. I began to braid Jane's hair, "Kylie never sits still long enough to let me do her hair that's why it's always such a mess."

"Huh, then where'd you learn to braid so well?" Theo asked As he watched my fingers trail down Jane's blond hair. I shrugged, "Gay instincts, I guess."

Eric and Kylie came up to us. "Hey, Kahl, Theo, check this out!" He threw an M&M into the air and Kylie caught it in her mouth. I rolled my eyes.

Kylie ran off to get more candy and Eric took a seat next to us. "Hey, honey!" I greeted him with a seal to his lips. I had to chuckle at his flushed cheeks.

"Do either of you have a rubber band?" I asked as I finished off Jane's braid. "Where'd you learn to braid so well?" Eric asked.

Before I could answer Melanie came running with a frantic look on her face. "What's wrong?" Theo asked. "It's Kylie, come quick!"

We followed her to a pile of M&Ms that was a foot taller than me. "That giant M&M dispenser just exploded on top of her, she's gonna suffocate in there!" Melanie said. "Oh, God, you mean she's in there?" I cried.

I desperately started digging through the pile. "Kylie, can you hear me?" I called. "Mommy, is that you?" She shouted. "I'm here, try to eat your way out." "I can't I have a tummy ache from all the M&Ms I ate before."

"Bitch please." Eric chuckled and pushed me aside. Then he started to eat his way through to Kylie. It didn't take long either. He just shoved those M&Ms into his mouth faster than that weird snail in that animated movie trailer.

"Ouch!" Came a small cry from the pile. "Oh, sorry, baby, that's your hand, isn't it?" One more mouthful of M&Ms later and Eric was able to pull Kylie free.

"Thank you, Daddy!" she hugged him. "Damn!" I said. "OhmyGod, Kahl, I _know _that look...Were you turned on by that?"

Now it was his turn to chuckle at my blush. "Theo, Mel, keep an eye on her and the twins for us, we'll be right back." Eric grabbed my hand and shared my grin.


	34. Chapter 34

**This is the last chapter. Review please. The next story will be called And On**

Chapter 34

The vacation was fantastic. We all got I heart NY T-shirts, and Kylie and Jane got American Girl dolls and Peter got a toy dinosaur from Toys R Us.

We had been back for a few weeks now and I knew I was forgetting something, but I couldn't remember what. I paced around my room trying desperately to remember. Hmm...Wait, I got it!

"KYLIE!" She came running, "'Sup?" "Happy birthday, that's what!" I said with a grin. "Um...My birthday's not for another nine months. Now can I go, I'm missing SpongeBob."

All right, so that obviously wasn't it. Did I leave something in New York? Why did it take me this long to realize it?

Suddenly the phone rang. "Hello?" "Is this Kyle Cartman?" "Yup, this is he." "I'm calling to confirm your doctor's appointment later today." That was it! That was what I forgot. "Yeah, don't worry, I'll be there!" I confirmed.

* * *

"Well, congratulations," the doctor said, "You've done it again!" "Huh?" I asked. "Oh, another surprise, I assume...Well I guess, I'll be the one to break the news. You're pregnant again!"

"WHAT?! No, that can't be right. I don't even remember the last time Eric and I-The M&M Store!" As I came to this realization, I glanced down at my stomach.

"I've gotta call Eric, he's at work, but I might be able to catch him on a break." I pulled out my cellphone and dialed his number. Of course, he was busy.

"No, not now, I need you!" I sighed, "Well, I guess I'd better get home. Ky's waiting for me...She'll just have to hear the news first."

* * *

Kylie was out riding Pony through the backyard. I invited her to sit down and have some lemonade with me. Rover hopped onto my lap before I could take a sip, so I found myself scratching away at his belly.

"So, didn't you say, you wanted to tell me something, Mom?" Kylie asked. "Yes. Um...How would you like to be an older sister?" I said. "Did Theo accidentally give that anti age shot to himself or something?"

I laughed, "No, darling, what I meant to say was that I'm having a baby." "You are?! But how? Theo and Melanie already moved on to the next generation, it's illegal to continue this one." Kylie cried.

"I don't know how official your rules are, but I just went to the doctor and he confirmed it without me even realizing it." I explained.

"Wait, you mean you didn't realize it until now? How?" Kylie said. "Well, you see, sometimes the stork-" "Oh you can cut that crap, Bryan told me how it worked two years ago, remember?"

"Right, right, sorry. So it sum it up your dad screwed me in the M&M store bathroom without a condom."

Kylie nodded, "That's what I thought." Then her face lit up, "Oooh, can I tell Theo? I'm calling him right now!"

She grabbed her phone and dialed his number before I could stop her. "Guess what, Theo! Mommy's pregnant!"

* * *

"So, it's true?" Theo asked. He, Melanie, and the twins came over literally two minutes after the phone call.

"Uh-huh!" I answered, "Who knew? I've been trying to reach Eric all day, but he just won't turn on his phone."

"Probably out getting you a last minute anniversary gift." Theo chuckled, "Man, this will be a shocker, way better than any gift you got him."

"ANNIVERSARY?!" I shouted. Our twenty-first to be exact-That was what I must've forgotten. Well, shit. I was screwed. With a bombshell like this on top of the fact that completely forgot.

"You know I'm kinda having deja vu." I said, "Ten years ago I forgot and then got pregnant with Kylie, but like last time, I'm pretty stocked. I love babies...No offense but you guys were a lot cuter before you grew up on me."

Then my phone rang. It was Eric! "Should I tell him through the phone?" I asked. "No, wait till he comes here." Melanie said.

I nodded and picked up, "Hello?" "Kahl, I know, I know, I forgot for about the fifteenth time. I'm sorry I'll make it up to you, I promise." I couldn't hide the grin on my face, "Don't worry. I believe you. Just come home ASAP." "Of course, baby. Love you." Eric said. "Love you too!" I echoed.

**Tell me what gender u want it to be and stay tuned for And On! **


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